Now the Hard Part Begins

All of the events traditionally associated with the demise of a loved one have come to an end. We had the funeral and family visitations two weekends ago. This weekend Mom's ashes were interred in her father's grave, section 14 of the Normal Hill Cemetery in Lewiston, and the "Celebration of Rita's Life" was attended by many friends and family.

All the hubbub, organizing and renewing of contacts with family is over. The hard part is beginning: learning to live without her.

On Friday, Bill, Peg and I gathered at Grandpa and Grandma Van Dyk's graves, where we had arranged for Mom's ashes to be interred, according to her wishes. Mom had said that she didn't want a ceremony, so we didn't line up any religious service. It was just us three.

I knew that I wanted something special to be done or said. I thought about Mom, my memories of her. It was while I was driving across the swollen Snake River, which is still so high after the heavy snowfall this winter, that I realized what I wanted to do. I recalled our family trips to Portland or Seattle that took us across the Columbia River. From long as I can remember, every time we drove over the Columbia river, Mom would launch into an enthusiastic but somewhat tuneless rendition of "Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean." (It didn't matter to her that the song was originally about a ship, not the river.) She would get as far as the second line, "The home of the free and the brave," and then she would falter over the words but continue the melody, "la la la, la la laa la la laaa-a."

I realized that I wanted to lay Mom's remains to rest to that song, this time with the COMPLETE lyrics of the first verse.

I found printed out the lyrics, downloaded an audio file of the piano accompaniment onto my laptop, and took them to the graveside at the designated time. There, Peg, Bill and I, accompanied by an MP3 file played on my computer, serenaded her along that river as she merged with the great, unknowable sea.

Care to sing along?

Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean
The home of the brave and the free
The shrine to each patriot's devotion
A world offers homage to thee
Thy mandates make heroes assemble
When liberty's form stands in view
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue

Full lyrics and an MP3 audio file are at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia,_Gem_of_the_Ocean