Postmaster
Asotin, WA 99402
June 27, 2008
Hi, Darryl and Sandy—
Well, an era is coming to an end. I’m going to let Mom’s post office box lease lapse at the end of this month. Someone else can take over the notable address of P.O. Box 52, Asotin, WA 99402 that she held for almost 40 years. I’m nostalgic and sad about the change, even though I know it happens all the time.
So I’m enclosing the two keys I’ve found. I’m sure no more will turn up, but if they do, I will return them to you.
I’m also enclosing the mail forwarding notice. I will take care of her correspondence. I know that a package has been waiting for pickup, too, but the one recent Saturday I was in town turned out to be so busy that I missed the opportunity to pick it up. I hope that it will be forwarded, too.
Thanks for everything you’ve done for Mom over the years and for your great friendliness. We all miss her, I know.
Charmaine Wellington, Rita Williams’ daughter
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Now the Hard Part Begins
All of the events traditionally associated with the demise of a loved one have come to an end. We had the funeral and family visitations two weekends ago. This weekend Mom's ashes were interred in her father's grave, section 14 of the Normal Hill Cemetery in Lewiston, and the "Celebration of Rita's Life" was attended by many friends and family.
All the hubbub, organizing and renewing of contacts with family is over. The hard part is beginning: learning to live without her.
On Friday, Bill, Peg and I gathered at Grandpa and Grandma Van Dyk's graves, where we had arranged for Mom's ashes to be interred, according to her wishes. Mom had said that she didn't want a ceremony, so we didn't line up any religious service. It was just us three.
I knew that I wanted something special to be done or said. I thought about Mom, my memories of her. It was while I was driving across the swollen Snake River, which is still so high after the heavy snowfall this winter, that I realized what I wanted to do. I recalled our family trips to Portland or Seattle that took us across the Columbia River. From long as I can remember, every time we drove over the Columbia river, Mom would launch into an enthusiastic but somewhat tuneless rendition of "Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean." (It didn't matter to her that the song was originally about a ship, not the river.) She would get as far as the second line, "The home of the free and the brave," and then she would falter over the words but continue the melody, "la la la, la la laa la la laaa-a."
I realized that I wanted to lay Mom's remains to rest to that song, this time with the COMPLETE lyrics of the first verse.
I found printed out the lyrics, downloaded an audio file of the piano accompaniment onto my laptop, and took them to the graveside at the designated time. There, Peg, Bill and I, accompanied by an MP3 file played on my computer, serenaded her along that river as she merged with the great, unknowable sea.
Care to sing along?
Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean
The home of the brave and the free
The shrine to each patriot's devotion
A world offers homage to thee
Thy mandates make heroes assemble
When liberty's form stands in view
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
Full lyrics and an MP3 audio file are at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia,_Gem_of_the_Ocean
All the hubbub, organizing and renewing of contacts with family is over. The hard part is beginning: learning to live without her.
On Friday, Bill, Peg and I gathered at Grandpa and Grandma Van Dyk's graves, where we had arranged for Mom's ashes to be interred, according to her wishes. Mom had said that she didn't want a ceremony, so we didn't line up any religious service. It was just us three.
I knew that I wanted something special to be done or said. I thought about Mom, my memories of her. It was while I was driving across the swollen Snake River, which is still so high after the heavy snowfall this winter, that I realized what I wanted to do. I recalled our family trips to Portland or Seattle that took us across the Columbia River. From long as I can remember, every time we drove over the Columbia river, Mom would launch into an enthusiastic but somewhat tuneless rendition of "Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean." (It didn't matter to her that the song was originally about a ship, not the river.) She would get as far as the second line, "The home of the free and the brave," and then she would falter over the words but continue the melody, "la la la, la la laa la la laaa-a."
I realized that I wanted to lay Mom's remains to rest to that song, this time with the COMPLETE lyrics of the first verse.
I found printed out the lyrics, downloaded an audio file of the piano accompaniment onto my laptop, and took them to the graveside at the designated time. There, Peg, Bill and I, accompanied by an MP3 file played on my computer, serenaded her along that river as she merged with the great, unknowable sea.
Care to sing along?
Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean
The home of the brave and the free
The shrine to each patriot's devotion
A world offers homage to thee
Thy mandates make heroes assemble
When liberty's form stands in view
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
Full lyrics and an MP3 audio file are at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia,_Gem_of_the_Ocean
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Bill's eulogy at Mom's funeral Mass
I posted Chris Van Dyk's lovely poem in eulogy of mom a few days ago. And I also want to post Bill's and Michelle's, which were written out beforehand. (It would be great if the extemporaneous speakers could reconstruct their eulogies and post them, too.)
Here's Bill's:
So, Father Tom says we have 15 minutes total, and I have 4 minutes. If I run over, please, next person, cut your time. The last thing I need is to have a priest of God mad at me.
My old boss told me that you always need to start with the most important things first because people stop listening very fast. Because of that, I wanted to make sure that we recognize some people. First of all, my sister, Charmaine. She was Rita's friend, daughter, travel partner, movie partner, buffet buddy, and right hand for the last several years. And if it weren't for Charmaine , we would have had these ceremonies several years ago. Chamaine did a fantastic job making sure Mom had great fun, lots of friend to see and a full life.
Second, my other sister, Peg. Peg and Charm traded off or tag-teamed, and they did crazy things with Mom, like camping when she was at age 85. Peg opened her house to Mom and all of us at all times.
Third, and not in any order of importance, the Williams family. Mom really didn't come into her own until Grandpa Jim came into her life. There's a marketing slogan that says life begins at 50, but with Mom, life began when she met Jim.
The Van Dyke families: I want to say with all your dang kids, grandkids, weddings, etc .we didn't see a lot of Mom some years, because she was so busy supporting the good Catholic families that you were.
I was proud to be Mother's son, and to be honest--and my sisters will attest to this--I was Rita's favorite son.
I was also sad when Mom started to experience issues relating to cancer, its treatment and her age. But when I reflect back on all the things she did and all the ways she acted, and as I watch the constant entourage of family and friends who have sent cards or visited, I realize that she had 88 amazing years. She did Bloomsday when she was 87, she has been camping at Priest Lake for the last 12 years, she visited Hawai'i four months ago. And now she's fishing every day, with Jim baiting her hook, and no license is required.
I was very, very sad to see my Mom pass and very sad to see her life and energy fade. But what I took away from it, and certainly invite you to share, was her joy, her non-judgmental love, and her love and care for others.
My mom was never one to amass material things, yet she did a great job trying to help us when we wanted to exercise a dream.
To me Rita's character was summed up when my sisters and I were at Mom's bedside in Hospice House. Charmaine showed us a video that to me outlined wonderfully what my mom was about. It was a 30-second video taken on Charm's cell phone. In the background, you can hear my sister prompt Mom. My Mom starts out, "Hi, Bill. I am doing fine. I started chemo, and it's going well. Peg and Charm are taking good care of me." In the background, you can hear Charm whisper, "You have 17 more seconds." You can see mom try to conjure up the next most important concern she has. She then blurts out, "Oh! When I was doing the wash, I found your other sock. I will mail it to you."
God bless Rita Williams.
Here's Bill's:
So, Father Tom says we have 15 minutes total, and I have 4 minutes. If I run over, please, next person, cut your time. The last thing I need is to have a priest of God mad at me.
My old boss told me that you always need to start with the most important things first because people stop listening very fast. Because of that, I wanted to make sure that we recognize some people. First of all, my sister, Charmaine. She was Rita's friend, daughter, travel partner, movie partner, buffet buddy, and right hand for the last several years. And if it weren't for Charmaine , we would have had these ceremonies several years ago. Chamaine did a fantastic job making sure Mom had great fun, lots of friend to see and a full life.
Second, my other sister, Peg. Peg and Charm traded off or tag-teamed, and they did crazy things with Mom, like camping when she was at age 85. Peg opened her house to Mom and all of us at all times.
Third, and not in any order of importance, the Williams family. Mom really didn't come into her own until Grandpa Jim came into her life. There's a marketing slogan that says life begins at 50, but with Mom, life began when she met Jim.
The Van Dyke families: I want to say with all your dang kids, grandkids, weddings, etc .we didn't see a lot of Mom some years, because she was so busy supporting the good Catholic families that you were.
I was proud to be Mother's son, and to be honest--and my sisters will attest to this--I was Rita's favorite son.
I was also sad when Mom started to experience issues relating to cancer, its treatment and her age. But when I reflect back on all the things she did and all the ways she acted, and as I watch the constant entourage of family and friends who have sent cards or visited, I realize that she had 88 amazing years. She did Bloomsday when she was 87, she has been camping at Priest Lake for the last 12 years, she visited Hawai'i four months ago. And now she's fishing every day, with Jim baiting her hook, and no license is required.
I was very, very sad to see my Mom pass and very sad to see her life and energy fade. But what I took away from it, and certainly invite you to share, was her joy, her non-judgmental love, and her love and care for others.
My mom was never one to amass material things, yet she did a great job trying to help us when we wanted to exercise a dream.
To me Rita's character was summed up when my sisters and I were at Mom's bedside in Hospice House. Charmaine showed us a video that to me outlined wonderfully what my mom was about. It was a 30-second video taken on Charm's cell phone. In the background, you can hear my sister prompt Mom. My Mom starts out, "Hi, Bill. I am doing fine. I started chemo, and it's going well. Peg and Charm are taking good care of me." In the background, you can hear Charm whisper, "You have 17 more seconds." You can see mom try to conjure up the next most important concern she has. She then blurts out, "Oh! When I was doing the wash, I found your other sock. I will mail it to you."
God bless Rita Williams.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Rita E. Williams: A Celebration of her Life
Saturday, June 7
1:00 pm to whenever
Her house in Asotin (First and Adams)
1:00 pm to whenever
Her house in Asotin (First and Adams)
Come one, come all!
Please come by, meet Rita's other friends, share some food and, most importantly, share your stories about
our dear mother, a.k.a. Ritababe!
The World is Upside Down
This blog is supposed to be about lovely Rita, but maybe something about my experience of learning to live without her is relevant.
People are being very sympathetic and supportive, for which I'm grateful. Some of them ask how I'm doing, but the question befuddles me. I hardly know from minute to minute how I’m doing. Last night I cried myself to sleep at 2 am, but this beautiful morning, as I was fascinated by the rabbits who live in the bushes on campus, not a sad thought troubled my mind.
Last night, Peg and I spoke by phone. She said that every once in a while, she has this sensation that she’s living in a nightmare. I feel exactly the same way. During the week, as I go about my normal Pullman-based activities, I will fall into the sensation that everything is normal.
And then the world turns upside down.
I remember that Mom is no longer in Asotin. I’m not going to see her on Friday. I’m not going to do the TGIF happy dance with her in the kitchen. We’re not going to relax together in front of the TV and newspaper, then go to a movie or maybe on an excursion or maybe work in the yard together. I won’t be enjoying her warmth and her sparkle this weekend. That's all in the past. She's gone.
The world is upside down.
People are being very sympathetic and supportive, for which I'm grateful. Some of them ask how I'm doing, but the question befuddles me. I hardly know from minute to minute how I’m doing. Last night I cried myself to sleep at 2 am, but this beautiful morning, as I was fascinated by the rabbits who live in the bushes on campus, not a sad thought troubled my mind.
Last night, Peg and I spoke by phone. She said that every once in a while, she has this sensation that she’s living in a nightmare. I feel exactly the same way. During the week, as I go about my normal Pullman-based activities, I will fall into the sensation that everything is normal.
And then the world turns upside down.
I remember that Mom is no longer in Asotin. I’m not going to see her on Friday. I’m not going to do the TGIF happy dance with her in the kitchen. We’re not going to relax together in front of the TV and newspaper, then go to a movie or maybe on an excursion or maybe work in the yard together. I won’t be enjoying her warmth and her sparkle this weekend. That's all in the past. She's gone.
The world is upside down.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Chris Van Dyk's poem about his Aunt Rita
Chris Van Dyk composed this beautiful eulogy and read it at the funeral:
For Rita Williams, and My Cousins
You towered six feet, though I’ve never been taller.
I suppose my head might have reached your knees,
When you first swept me up, and I became somebody
So important.
You were my Great Aunt and I was your nephew.
I was the one whom you made matter.
Thank you, Auntie Rita. Though you are still now,
You still tower six feet;
Though my world is smaller, lay not gently.
Spin your Volkswagen down heaven’s grade
And keep me, as before, cheered and mighty,
Cheered and able,
Grateful, asleep, protected
Rocking to and fro on your backseat,
The rivers, the city lights,
A glimmer through the dark hills falling below.
Chris Van Dyk, your nephew
For Rita Williams, and My Cousins
You towered six feet, though I’ve never been taller.
I suppose my head might have reached your knees,
When you first swept me up, and I became somebody
So important.
You were my Great Aunt and I was your nephew.
I was the one whom you made matter.
Thank you, Auntie Rita. Though you are still now,
You still tower six feet;
Though my world is smaller, lay not gently.
Spin your Volkswagen down heaven’s grade
And keep me, as before, cheered and mighty,
Cheered and able,
Grateful, asleep, protected
Rocking to and fro on your backseat,
The rivers, the city lights,
A glimmer through the dark hills falling below.
Chris Van Dyk, your nephew
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Mom's Obit
Mom's obituary appeared today in the Lewiston Morning Tribune. You can see it online at:
http://www.lmtribune.com/obituaries
It's definitely worth looking at because of the cute picture of her in her army uniform. She looks fresh, alive, and ready to tackle the world.
The print copy, in addition to this image, also has a portrait taken recently, but for some reason that image isn't included in the online version. :-(
http://www.lmtribune.com/obituaries
It's definitely worth looking at because of the cute picture of her in her army uniform. She looks fresh, alive, and ready to tackle the world.
The print copy, in addition to this image, also has a portrait taken recently, but for some reason that image isn't included in the online version. :-(
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Please join us for memorial events
There will be memorial events on TWO weekends (due to schedule conflicts, of course), one this weekend and another on Saturday, June 7.
The sacred:
This coming weekend, we have arranged for services at Holy Family Catholic Church in Clarkston (corner of 11th St. and Chestnut).
And the secular:
On Saturday, June 7, we will have a "Celebration of Rita's Life" at the Asotin house. This will begin at about 1:00 pm and continue until the party runs out of steam. Peg, Bill and I are hoping to have mementos of Mom on display at this second party--we know we won't be able to get them together in time for this Saturday--and you are welcome to bring yours.
All family and friends of Rita are invited to one or both of these events. We would really love to have you come and share your memories and tall tales about our tall Mom.
If you would care to make a donation in Rita's name, that would be lovely. Peg, Bill and I suggest the Hospice organization in Clarkston. Send it to: Tri-State Hospital Hospice, P.O. Box 636, Clarkston, WA 99403
The sacred:
This coming weekend, we have arranged for services at Holy Family Catholic Church in Clarkston (corner of 11th St. and Chestnut).
- Rosary, Friday May 23, 7 pm
- Funeral Mass, Saturday, May 24, 10 am
And the secular:
On Saturday, June 7, we will have a "Celebration of Rita's Life" at the Asotin house. This will begin at about 1:00 pm and continue until the party runs out of steam. Peg, Bill and I are hoping to have mementos of Mom on display at this second party--we know we won't be able to get them together in time for this Saturday--and you are welcome to bring yours.
All family and friends of Rita are invited to one or both of these events. We would really love to have you come and share your memories and tall tales about our tall Mom.
If you would care to make a donation in Rita's name, that would be lovely. Peg, Bill and I suggest the Hospice organization in Clarkston. Send it to: Tri-State Hospital Hospice, P.O. Box 636, Clarkston, WA 99403
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