Postmaster
Asotin, WA 99402
June 27, 2008
Hi, Darryl and Sandy—
Well, an era is coming to an end. I’m going to let Mom’s post office box lease lapse at the end of this month. Someone else can take over the notable address of P.O. Box 52, Asotin, WA 99402 that she held for almost 40 years. I’m nostalgic and sad about the change, even though I know it happens all the time.
So I’m enclosing the two keys I’ve found. I’m sure no more will turn up, but if they do, I will return them to you.
I’m also enclosing the mail forwarding notice. I will take care of her correspondence. I know that a package has been waiting for pickup, too, but the one recent Saturday I was in town turned out to be so busy that I missed the opportunity to pick it up. I hope that it will be forwarded, too.
Thanks for everything you’ve done for Mom over the years and for your great friendliness. We all miss her, I know.
Charmaine Wellington, Rita Williams’ daughter
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Now the Hard Part Begins
All of the events traditionally associated with the demise of a loved one have come to an end. We had the funeral and family visitations two weekends ago. This weekend Mom's ashes were interred in her father's grave, section 14 of the Normal Hill Cemetery in Lewiston, and the "Celebration of Rita's Life" was attended by many friends and family.
All the hubbub, organizing and renewing of contacts with family is over. The hard part is beginning: learning to live without her.
On Friday, Bill, Peg and I gathered at Grandpa and Grandma Van Dyk's graves, where we had arranged for Mom's ashes to be interred, according to her wishes. Mom had said that she didn't want a ceremony, so we didn't line up any religious service. It was just us three.
I knew that I wanted something special to be done or said. I thought about Mom, my memories of her. It was while I was driving across the swollen Snake River, which is still so high after the heavy snowfall this winter, that I realized what I wanted to do. I recalled our family trips to Portland or Seattle that took us across the Columbia River. From long as I can remember, every time we drove over the Columbia river, Mom would launch into an enthusiastic but somewhat tuneless rendition of "Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean." (It didn't matter to her that the song was originally about a ship, not the river.) She would get as far as the second line, "The home of the free and the brave," and then she would falter over the words but continue the melody, "la la la, la la laa la la laaa-a."
I realized that I wanted to lay Mom's remains to rest to that song, this time with the COMPLETE lyrics of the first verse.
I found printed out the lyrics, downloaded an audio file of the piano accompaniment onto my laptop, and took them to the graveside at the designated time. There, Peg, Bill and I, accompanied by an MP3 file played on my computer, serenaded her along that river as she merged with the great, unknowable sea.
Care to sing along?
Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean
The home of the brave and the free
The shrine to each patriot's devotion
A world offers homage to thee
Thy mandates make heroes assemble
When liberty's form stands in view
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
Full lyrics and an MP3 audio file are at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia,_Gem_of_the_Ocean
All the hubbub, organizing and renewing of contacts with family is over. The hard part is beginning: learning to live without her.
On Friday, Bill, Peg and I gathered at Grandpa and Grandma Van Dyk's graves, where we had arranged for Mom's ashes to be interred, according to her wishes. Mom had said that she didn't want a ceremony, so we didn't line up any religious service. It was just us three.
I knew that I wanted something special to be done or said. I thought about Mom, my memories of her. It was while I was driving across the swollen Snake River, which is still so high after the heavy snowfall this winter, that I realized what I wanted to do. I recalled our family trips to Portland or Seattle that took us across the Columbia River. From long as I can remember, every time we drove over the Columbia river, Mom would launch into an enthusiastic but somewhat tuneless rendition of "Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean." (It didn't matter to her that the song was originally about a ship, not the river.) She would get as far as the second line, "The home of the free and the brave," and then she would falter over the words but continue the melody, "la la la, la la laa la la laaa-a."
I realized that I wanted to lay Mom's remains to rest to that song, this time with the COMPLETE lyrics of the first verse.
I found printed out the lyrics, downloaded an audio file of the piano accompaniment onto my laptop, and took them to the graveside at the designated time. There, Peg, Bill and I, accompanied by an MP3 file played on my computer, serenaded her along that river as she merged with the great, unknowable sea.
Care to sing along?
Oh, Columbia, gem of the ocean
The home of the brave and the free
The shrine to each patriot's devotion
A world offers homage to thee
Thy mandates make heroes assemble
When liberty's form stands in view
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
When borne by the red, white and blue
Thy banners make tyranny tremble
When borne by the red, white and blue
Full lyrics and an MP3 audio file are at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia,_Gem_of_the_Ocean
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Bill's eulogy at Mom's funeral Mass
I posted Chris Van Dyk's lovely poem in eulogy of mom a few days ago. And I also want to post Bill's and Michelle's, which were written out beforehand. (It would be great if the extemporaneous speakers could reconstruct their eulogies and post them, too.)
Here's Bill's:
So, Father Tom says we have 15 minutes total, and I have 4 minutes. If I run over, please, next person, cut your time. The last thing I need is to have a priest of God mad at me.
My old boss told me that you always need to start with the most important things first because people stop listening very fast. Because of that, I wanted to make sure that we recognize some people. First of all, my sister, Charmaine. She was Rita's friend, daughter, travel partner, movie partner, buffet buddy, and right hand for the last several years. And if it weren't for Charmaine , we would have had these ceremonies several years ago. Chamaine did a fantastic job making sure Mom had great fun, lots of friend to see and a full life.
Second, my other sister, Peg. Peg and Charm traded off or tag-teamed, and they did crazy things with Mom, like camping when she was at age 85. Peg opened her house to Mom and all of us at all times.
Third, and not in any order of importance, the Williams family. Mom really didn't come into her own until Grandpa Jim came into her life. There's a marketing slogan that says life begins at 50, but with Mom, life began when she met Jim.
The Van Dyke families: I want to say with all your dang kids, grandkids, weddings, etc .we didn't see a lot of Mom some years, because she was so busy supporting the good Catholic families that you were.
I was proud to be Mother's son, and to be honest--and my sisters will attest to this--I was Rita's favorite son.
I was also sad when Mom started to experience issues relating to cancer, its treatment and her age. But when I reflect back on all the things she did and all the ways she acted, and as I watch the constant entourage of family and friends who have sent cards or visited, I realize that she had 88 amazing years. She did Bloomsday when she was 87, she has been camping at Priest Lake for the last 12 years, she visited Hawai'i four months ago. And now she's fishing every day, with Jim baiting her hook, and no license is required.
I was very, very sad to see my Mom pass and very sad to see her life and energy fade. But what I took away from it, and certainly invite you to share, was her joy, her non-judgmental love, and her love and care for others.
My mom was never one to amass material things, yet she did a great job trying to help us when we wanted to exercise a dream.
To me Rita's character was summed up when my sisters and I were at Mom's bedside in Hospice House. Charmaine showed us a video that to me outlined wonderfully what my mom was about. It was a 30-second video taken on Charm's cell phone. In the background, you can hear my sister prompt Mom. My Mom starts out, "Hi, Bill. I am doing fine. I started chemo, and it's going well. Peg and Charm are taking good care of me." In the background, you can hear Charm whisper, "You have 17 more seconds." You can see mom try to conjure up the next most important concern she has. She then blurts out, "Oh! When I was doing the wash, I found your other sock. I will mail it to you."
God bless Rita Williams.
Here's Bill's:
So, Father Tom says we have 15 minutes total, and I have 4 minutes. If I run over, please, next person, cut your time. The last thing I need is to have a priest of God mad at me.
My old boss told me that you always need to start with the most important things first because people stop listening very fast. Because of that, I wanted to make sure that we recognize some people. First of all, my sister, Charmaine. She was Rita's friend, daughter, travel partner, movie partner, buffet buddy, and right hand for the last several years. And if it weren't for Charmaine , we would have had these ceremonies several years ago. Chamaine did a fantastic job making sure Mom had great fun, lots of friend to see and a full life.
Second, my other sister, Peg. Peg and Charm traded off or tag-teamed, and they did crazy things with Mom, like camping when she was at age 85. Peg opened her house to Mom and all of us at all times.
Third, and not in any order of importance, the Williams family. Mom really didn't come into her own until Grandpa Jim came into her life. There's a marketing slogan that says life begins at 50, but with Mom, life began when she met Jim.
The Van Dyke families: I want to say with all your dang kids, grandkids, weddings, etc .we didn't see a lot of Mom some years, because she was so busy supporting the good Catholic families that you were.
I was proud to be Mother's son, and to be honest--and my sisters will attest to this--I was Rita's favorite son.
I was also sad when Mom started to experience issues relating to cancer, its treatment and her age. But when I reflect back on all the things she did and all the ways she acted, and as I watch the constant entourage of family and friends who have sent cards or visited, I realize that she had 88 amazing years. She did Bloomsday when she was 87, she has been camping at Priest Lake for the last 12 years, she visited Hawai'i four months ago. And now she's fishing every day, with Jim baiting her hook, and no license is required.
I was very, very sad to see my Mom pass and very sad to see her life and energy fade. But what I took away from it, and certainly invite you to share, was her joy, her non-judgmental love, and her love and care for others.
My mom was never one to amass material things, yet she did a great job trying to help us when we wanted to exercise a dream.
To me Rita's character was summed up when my sisters and I were at Mom's bedside in Hospice House. Charmaine showed us a video that to me outlined wonderfully what my mom was about. It was a 30-second video taken on Charm's cell phone. In the background, you can hear my sister prompt Mom. My Mom starts out, "Hi, Bill. I am doing fine. I started chemo, and it's going well. Peg and Charm are taking good care of me." In the background, you can hear Charm whisper, "You have 17 more seconds." You can see mom try to conjure up the next most important concern she has. She then blurts out, "Oh! When I was doing the wash, I found your other sock. I will mail it to you."
God bless Rita Williams.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Rita E. Williams: A Celebration of her Life
Saturday, June 7
1:00 pm to whenever
Her house in Asotin (First and Adams)
1:00 pm to whenever
Her house in Asotin (First and Adams)
Come one, come all!
Please come by, meet Rita's other friends, share some food and, most importantly, share your stories about
our dear mother, a.k.a. Ritababe!
The World is Upside Down
This blog is supposed to be about lovely Rita, but maybe something about my experience of learning to live without her is relevant.
People are being very sympathetic and supportive, for which I'm grateful. Some of them ask how I'm doing, but the question befuddles me. I hardly know from minute to minute how I’m doing. Last night I cried myself to sleep at 2 am, but this beautiful morning, as I was fascinated by the rabbits who live in the bushes on campus, not a sad thought troubled my mind.
Last night, Peg and I spoke by phone. She said that every once in a while, she has this sensation that she’s living in a nightmare. I feel exactly the same way. During the week, as I go about my normal Pullman-based activities, I will fall into the sensation that everything is normal.
And then the world turns upside down.
I remember that Mom is no longer in Asotin. I’m not going to see her on Friday. I’m not going to do the TGIF happy dance with her in the kitchen. We’re not going to relax together in front of the TV and newspaper, then go to a movie or maybe on an excursion or maybe work in the yard together. I won’t be enjoying her warmth and her sparkle this weekend. That's all in the past. She's gone.
The world is upside down.
People are being very sympathetic and supportive, for which I'm grateful. Some of them ask how I'm doing, but the question befuddles me. I hardly know from minute to minute how I’m doing. Last night I cried myself to sleep at 2 am, but this beautiful morning, as I was fascinated by the rabbits who live in the bushes on campus, not a sad thought troubled my mind.
Last night, Peg and I spoke by phone. She said that every once in a while, she has this sensation that she’s living in a nightmare. I feel exactly the same way. During the week, as I go about my normal Pullman-based activities, I will fall into the sensation that everything is normal.
And then the world turns upside down.
I remember that Mom is no longer in Asotin. I’m not going to see her on Friday. I’m not going to do the TGIF happy dance with her in the kitchen. We’re not going to relax together in front of the TV and newspaper, then go to a movie or maybe on an excursion or maybe work in the yard together. I won’t be enjoying her warmth and her sparkle this weekend. That's all in the past. She's gone.
The world is upside down.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Chris Van Dyk's poem about his Aunt Rita
Chris Van Dyk composed this beautiful eulogy and read it at the funeral:
For Rita Williams, and My Cousins
You towered six feet, though I’ve never been taller.
I suppose my head might have reached your knees,
When you first swept me up, and I became somebody
So important.
You were my Great Aunt and I was your nephew.
I was the one whom you made matter.
Thank you, Auntie Rita. Though you are still now,
You still tower six feet;
Though my world is smaller, lay not gently.
Spin your Volkswagen down heaven’s grade
And keep me, as before, cheered and mighty,
Cheered and able,
Grateful, asleep, protected
Rocking to and fro on your backseat,
The rivers, the city lights,
A glimmer through the dark hills falling below.
Chris Van Dyk, your nephew
For Rita Williams, and My Cousins
You towered six feet, though I’ve never been taller.
I suppose my head might have reached your knees,
When you first swept me up, and I became somebody
So important.
You were my Great Aunt and I was your nephew.
I was the one whom you made matter.
Thank you, Auntie Rita. Though you are still now,
You still tower six feet;
Though my world is smaller, lay not gently.
Spin your Volkswagen down heaven’s grade
And keep me, as before, cheered and mighty,
Cheered and able,
Grateful, asleep, protected
Rocking to and fro on your backseat,
The rivers, the city lights,
A glimmer through the dark hills falling below.
Chris Van Dyk, your nephew
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Mom's Obit
Mom's obituary appeared today in the Lewiston Morning Tribune. You can see it online at:
http://www.lmtribune.com/obituaries
It's definitely worth looking at because of the cute picture of her in her army uniform. She looks fresh, alive, and ready to tackle the world.
The print copy, in addition to this image, also has a portrait taken recently, but for some reason that image isn't included in the online version. :-(
http://www.lmtribune.com/obituaries
It's definitely worth looking at because of the cute picture of her in her army uniform. She looks fresh, alive, and ready to tackle the world.
The print copy, in addition to this image, also has a portrait taken recently, but for some reason that image isn't included in the online version. :-(
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Please join us for memorial events
There will be memorial events on TWO weekends (due to schedule conflicts, of course), one this weekend and another on Saturday, June 7.
The sacred:
This coming weekend, we have arranged for services at Holy Family Catholic Church in Clarkston (corner of 11th St. and Chestnut).
And the secular:
On Saturday, June 7, we will have a "Celebration of Rita's Life" at the Asotin house. This will begin at about 1:00 pm and continue until the party runs out of steam. Peg, Bill and I are hoping to have mementos of Mom on display at this second party--we know we won't be able to get them together in time for this Saturday--and you are welcome to bring yours.
All family and friends of Rita are invited to one or both of these events. We would really love to have you come and share your memories and tall tales about our tall Mom.
If you would care to make a donation in Rita's name, that would be lovely. Peg, Bill and I suggest the Hospice organization in Clarkston. Send it to: Tri-State Hospital Hospice, P.O. Box 636, Clarkston, WA 99403
The sacred:
This coming weekend, we have arranged for services at Holy Family Catholic Church in Clarkston (corner of 11th St. and Chestnut).
- Rosary, Friday May 23, 7 pm
- Funeral Mass, Saturday, May 24, 10 am
And the secular:
On Saturday, June 7, we will have a "Celebration of Rita's Life" at the Asotin house. This will begin at about 1:00 pm and continue until the party runs out of steam. Peg, Bill and I are hoping to have mementos of Mom on display at this second party--we know we won't be able to get them together in time for this Saturday--and you are welcome to bring yours.
All family and friends of Rita are invited to one or both of these events. We would really love to have you come and share your memories and tall tales about our tall Mom.
If you would care to make a donation in Rita's name, that would be lovely. Peg, Bill and I suggest the Hospice organization in Clarkston. Send it to: Tri-State Hospital Hospice, P.O. Box 636, Clarkston, WA 99403
Monday, May 19, 2008
Looking back
Looking over my collection of videos and pictures of Mom, I found this short video made on my cell phone.
Mom and I are at the Country Buffet. It's a message to Bill, who had visited her in Asotin earlier in the week.
I shot this video on the Saturday before her first chemotherapy appointment. She and I were to drive up to Spokane the next day, and the day after that, Peg and I would take her to her first infusion session. She was anxious about the chemo, wondering what it would be like.
When I found the video, I was in Mom's Hospice House room with Peg and Bill. I showed it to both of them, and they immediately recognized it as a wonderful example of Mom's great character. If something mattered to one of her children, like a lost sock for example, it mattered to her. Even anticipating her own chemotherapy didn't obliterate her children's concerns from her mind.
What a great woman she was! Enjoy, and I hope you can hear the audio.
Mom and I are at the Country Buffet. It's a message to Bill, who had visited her in Asotin earlier in the week.
I shot this video on the Saturday before her first chemotherapy appointment. She and I were to drive up to Spokane the next day, and the day after that, Peg and I would take her to her first infusion session. She was anxious about the chemo, wondering what it would be like.
When I found the video, I was in Mom's Hospice House room with Peg and Bill. I showed it to both of them, and they immediately recognized it as a wonderful example of Mom's great character. If something mattered to one of her children, like a lost sock for example, it mattered to her. Even anticipating her own chemotherapy didn't obliterate her children's concerns from her mind.
What a great woman she was! Enjoy, and I hope you can hear the audio.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Sad News
Our beloved mother, Rita Eileen Williams, passed away last night at about 11:30. She was surrounded by her chidren and in the compassionate care of the Spokane Hospice House staff.
May she rest in peace.
Arrangements are being made for a rosary and funeral mass to be held at Holy Family Catholic Church in Clarkston, WA and for a celebration of Rita's life to be held at her home in Asotin, WA. The dates and times of these events have not yet been finalized, but we are hoping to be able to schedule them for a Saturday sometime in the near future to accommodate out-of-town family.
May she rest in peace.
Arrangements are being made for a rosary and funeral mass to be held at Holy Family Catholic Church in Clarkston, WA and for a celebration of Rita's life to be held at her home in Asotin, WA. The dates and times of these events have not yet been finalized, but we are hoping to be able to schedule them for a Saturday sometime in the near future to accommodate out-of-town family.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
3 pm Saturday the 17th. The vigil continues.
View from the Serenity Room at the Hospice House
Three weeks ago today, Mom was admitted to Sacred Heart Medical Center with a fever and very low white blood cell count. One week ago today, she seemed to be rebounding, and the doctor was talking about a possible release date. Today, she continues to be in the near-death coma that began last Monday.
At several points this week, death has seemed imminent. Yesterday evening, the suspense seemed to reach a climax. Her breathing began to change again. The hospice workers said that signs suggested it might be in the next few hours or perhaps even minutes, although they always remind us that each individual is different.
Peg, Bill and I, sharing our grief, all spent the night in her hospice room. None of us wanted to be at Peg's home in bed when our dear mother drew her last breath.
Today, she inhales and exhales, and her rapid pulse continues to flutter under the fragile skin of her neck. The body can be tenacious of life, even after the essence, the individuality has all but evaporated.
Only very gradually, and in waves, I realize that she and I won't be making new memories, teaching me the meaning of the word "heartsick." My mother's amazing friendship will continue to sustain me, I know, but only as I treasure the memories we've made. Maybe consolation will come in telling stories of her, as Peg, Bill and I have been doing, especially last night at her bedside.
Right now, even though we know she isn't suffering, we all are wishing she could let go. "Go to those Pearly Gates, Rita. Jim is already in the van with the motor running and is waiting for you to go fishing. Go on now. We'll miss you tremendously, but we will be OK. Go on now."
She is getting the death she wanted--a dignified one. She hasn't endured a long internment in a nursing home. She was active and engaged with life up to the previous few weeks.
But these three weeks have been an eternity. That slow ole' specter death, he is a long, long time a-comin'.
Friday, May 16, 2008
My mom's HEART
Friday, May 16, 2008
She's all Heart
Yesterday I met the Medical Director of the Hospice House, Dr. Soffe. He seemed to be a very kind, compassionate man and I felt very comfortable with him. He wanted to know about our mom- not just about the "patient". I told him what an amazing woman, nurse and mother she has been. He was particularly interested in the part of her nursing career when she taught nursing at Lewis-Clark State College. He asked if he could have the medical student, who was with him, listen to her heart because it was "classic" atrial fibrillation. They both listened to her heart with their stethescopes. Dr. Soffe looked at me and said "See, your mother is still teaching students even now." What a kind thing to say! I asked if I could listen to my mom's heart. He took off his stethescope, handed it to me and placed the end on my mom's heart. I could hear and feel my mom's heart pounding in my head. Her appearance is changing as her body fades, but I was able to feel so close to our mom through this kindness. Everyone who met our mother knew what an amazing heart she has- I have been fortunate enough to not only feel it all of my life, but hear it as well.
Posted by Peg
She's all Heart
Yesterday I met the Medical Director of the Hospice House, Dr. Soffe. He seemed to be a very kind, compassionate man and I felt very comfortable with him. He wanted to know about our mom- not just about the "patient". I told him what an amazing woman, nurse and mother she has been. He was particularly interested in the part of her nursing career when she taught nursing at Lewis-Clark State College. He asked if he could have the medical student, who was with him, listen to her heart because it was "classic" atrial fibrillation. They both listened to her heart with their stethescopes. Dr. Soffe looked at me and said "See, your mother is still teaching students even now." What a kind thing to say! I asked if I could listen to my mom's heart. He took off his stethescope, handed it to me and placed the end on my mom's heart. I could hear and feel my mom's heart pounding in my head. Her appearance is changing as her body fades, but I was able to feel so close to our mom through this kindness. Everyone who met our mother knew what an amazing heart she has- I have been fortunate enough to not only feel it all of my life, but hear it as well.
Posted by Peg
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Holding vigil
My sister, brother and I are taking turns holding vigil. Sometimes we're all here, and sometimes just one or two. We have been taking turns spending the night.
The night before last, which was Peg's night, my mother began having tremors. Peg called Bill and me, who were asleep at her house, thinking that Mom was about to pass away, so we drove over to the Hospice House to join her, so she wouldn't have to be alone. By the time we got there--this was at 3 am--the medications administered by the Hospice House staff had calmed Mom's tremors. Her breathing was still very labored, and there were long spells of 30-50 seconds when she didn't inhale (apnea), but she continued to hang on.
After a few hours, Peg went back to her house to try to sleep, while Bill and I did the best we could to rest while staying with Mom.
Last night, Bill stayed. Mom's breathing has become more regular and a lot more shallow. The breaths are not as loud as they have been for the past two days. This is a mixed blessing, because holding vigil while Mom's inhalations were so noisy was so, so sad that it made us almost crazy. Now that her inhalations are quieter, it is easier to believe that she is passing on peacefully. To be blunt, it is now easier to conceive of the process of dying as a spiritual transition, while yesterday, death seemed to be a cruel, tortuous mechanical failure.
From one perspective, the perspective of these past three weeks, my mother is not passing away quickly, but from the overview, as my Aunt Rose Van Dyk reminded me on the phone yesterday, Mom has been able to participate actively in life nearly up to the end. In just February, Mom, Peg, I, she and Mom's brother Uncle Adrian were all in Kaui'i, Hawaii, and Mom was pretty much keeping up with her daughters, doing everything that we did.
I think that's pretty much the ending Mom has hoped for herself: live actively, and then stop rather suddenly. She has made for herself a good, good life, I believe.
The night before last, which was Peg's night, my mother began having tremors. Peg called Bill and me, who were asleep at her house, thinking that Mom was about to pass away, so we drove over to the Hospice House to join her, so she wouldn't have to be alone. By the time we got there--this was at 3 am--the medications administered by the Hospice House staff had calmed Mom's tremors. Her breathing was still very labored, and there were long spells of 30-50 seconds when she didn't inhale (apnea), but she continued to hang on.
After a few hours, Peg went back to her house to try to sleep, while Bill and I did the best we could to rest while staying with Mom.
Last night, Bill stayed. Mom's breathing has become more regular and a lot more shallow. The breaths are not as loud as they have been for the past two days. This is a mixed blessing, because holding vigil while Mom's inhalations were so noisy was so, so sad that it made us almost crazy. Now that her inhalations are quieter, it is easier to believe that she is passing on peacefully. To be blunt, it is now easier to conceive of the process of dying as a spiritual transition, while yesterday, death seemed to be a cruel, tortuous mechanical failure.
From one perspective, the perspective of these past three weeks, my mother is not passing away quickly, but from the overview, as my Aunt Rose Van Dyk reminded me on the phone yesterday, Mom has been able to participate actively in life nearly up to the end. In just February, Mom, Peg, I, she and Mom's brother Uncle Adrian were all in Kaui'i, Hawaii, and Mom was pretty much keeping up with her daughters, doing everything that we did.
I think that's pretty much the ending Mom has hoped for herself: live actively, and then stop rather suddenly. She has made for herself a good, good life, I believe.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Such a strong body . . .
. . . that one breath very belatedly follows another.
I know that she is in no discomfort, but
I know that she is in no discomfort, but
As she lays dying . . .
Yesterday morning Mom was transported to Hospice House of Spokane to receive comfort care during her final hours or days.
Last night, Peg stayed with her and found it to be a very sad experience, for Mom, while still alive, has been unconscious since yesterday morning and is clearly in her final stages of life.
Bill and I joined Peg in the vigil at about 3 this morning because signs suggested that the end was near. But that ole' body that she took such good care of doesn't seem to want to finally wind down, in spite of herself.
Bill, Peg and I are each handling our mom's death in our own ways, but we're continuing to be supportive of one another. Living through this sad, sad time with them as my companions has given me a new level of admiration and love for each of them. Bill's sense of humor has continued to help relieve us of some stress, even as he struggles mightily with his own grief. Peg's wonderful sensitivity and understanding, coupled with her admirable professional expertise from years as a social worker make her the best resource a sister could possibly hope for in such a situation.
Mom has received many kindnesses from her other relatives and friends over these difficult two-and-a-half weeks--visits from Jim's sons and their families, gifts like a beautiful quilt made by a long-time friend and neighbor, and kind assistance with things like collecting the mail. There have been too many to mention.
The vigil continues, sadly, but will soon, we expect, come to an end.
Love to all on Rita's behalf.
Last night, Peg stayed with her and found it to be a very sad experience, for Mom, while still alive, has been unconscious since yesterday morning and is clearly in her final stages of life.
Bill and I joined Peg in the vigil at about 3 this morning because signs suggested that the end was near. But that ole' body that she took such good care of doesn't seem to want to finally wind down, in spite of herself.
Bill, Peg and I are each handling our mom's death in our own ways, but we're continuing to be supportive of one another. Living through this sad, sad time with them as my companions has given me a new level of admiration and love for each of them. Bill's sense of humor has continued to help relieve us of some stress, even as he struggles mightily with his own grief. Peg's wonderful sensitivity and understanding, coupled with her admirable professional expertise from years as a social worker make her the best resource a sister could possibly hope for in such a situation.
Mom has received many kindnesses from her other relatives and friends over these difficult two-and-a-half weeks--visits from Jim's sons and their families, gifts like a beautiful quilt made by a long-time friend and neighbor, and kind assistance with things like collecting the mail. There have been too many to mention.
The vigil continues, sadly, but will soon, we expect, come to an end.
Love to all on Rita's behalf.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
On her way
It's Tuesday morning. I spent the night at the hospital, as Bill did the night before and Peg the night before that.
In the mornings, she seems a bit more responsive, and we've been able to exchange "I love yous."
Just now, as I was typing, one of the nurses, Debbie, came in to check on mom as her shift waa beginning. She asked me how Mom was doing. I told her about our exchanges. Debbie agreed, "Yeah, she's still here. She's all here." I responded, "Yeah, and mom is probably thinking, 'Damn!" That made Mom smile.
The Hospice Staff is here completing paperwork for the transfer, which should happen any minute.
In the mornings, she seems a bit more responsive, and we've been able to exchange "I love yous."
Just now, as I was typing, one of the nurses, Debbie, came in to check on mom as her shift waa beginning. She asked me how Mom was doing. I told her about our exchanges. Debbie agreed, "Yeah, she's still here. She's all here." I responded, "Yeah, and mom is probably thinking, 'Damn!" That made Mom smile.
The Hospice Staff is here completing paperwork for the transfer, which should happen any minute.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Winding down slowly
Mom has been less and less responsive as the day has worn on, and her breathing has been more and more erratic. One characteristic of the process of dying is apnea, pauses in breathing that can last 30 seconds or more. These pauses don't necessarily mean that her breathing is about to stop. Nevertheless, it's distressing to hear it.
She is being very sensitively cared for and is medicated for pain. Of course, that may have something to do with the non-responsiveness. It's a difficult balance to strike between pain management and over-medication.
Peg talks with her about how she's just about to be joining Jim and that they're going fishing together again. Peg says she detects a slight smile when she says that. I said to her that I was going to miss her very, very much, and her forehead wrinkled. So at some level, she's still with us, even though her body is failing.
Tomorrow morning, she will be transported to Hospice House in Spokane.
Sorry not to be more informative, but it has been long day. What a long, strange trip it's been!
She is being very sensitively cared for and is medicated for pain. Of course, that may have something to do with the non-responsiveness. It's a difficult balance to strike between pain management and over-medication.
Peg talks with her about how she's just about to be joining Jim and that they're going fishing together again. Peg says she detects a slight smile when she says that. I said to her that I was going to miss her very, very much, and her forehead wrinkled. So at some level, she's still with us, even though her body is failing.
Tomorrow morning, she will be transported to Hospice House in Spokane.
Sorry not to be more informative, but it has been long day. What a long, strange trip it's been!
Winding down slowly
Mom has been less and less responsive as the day has worn on, and her breathing has been more and more erratic. One characteristic of the
Why won't God let me go?
Mom has been asking this question of everyone, nurses, ministers, her kids; all say, "Well, I guess God must not be ready."
"He's stubborn," she says.
"Well, you are, too, Mom," we say back.
From the way she seems today, that stubborn ole' God is relenting.
Bill, who spent the night here in her room at the hospital, said that she slept peacefully, but when she woke up, she seemed to have a fever, her breathing was erratic, and she seemed to be delirious. He texted Peg and me, who were at her house having morning coffee and getting ready to come to the hospital anyway. We got here quickly and saw that
She is definitely weaker today. Hospice organization is sizing up her status to be tranported to the Hospice House.
A musical thanatologist came with her harp and played very soothingly for about a half hour. We warned her not to get confused when the harp music began. It's not angels at the pearly gates.
"He's stubborn," she says.
"Well, you are, too, Mom," we say back.
From the way she seems today, that stubborn ole' God is relenting.
Bill, who spent the night here in her room at the hospital, said that she slept peacefully, but when she woke up, she seemed to have a fever, her breathing was erratic, and she seemed to be delirious. He texted Peg and me, who were at her house having morning coffee and getting ready to come to the hospital anyway. We got here quickly and saw that
She is definitely weaker today. Hospice organization is sizing up her status to be tranported to the Hospice House.
A musical thanatologist came with her harp and played very soothingly for about a half hour. We warned her not to get confused when the harp music began. It's not angels at the pearly gates.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The fire may be winding down, but there are still some good hot embers
I know everyone is worried about our dear, lovely Rita. She has been very weak. "I just feel so energy-less," she just said to me.
At the same time, she still has that spark of humor that has made her so beloved by us all. When the nurses asked her what she wanted for dinner, she said, "Bud Light."
I didn't even know she liked Bud Light.
Since the level of care being given to her has changed, just today at about noon, they moved her to a different type of room, still on the same floor, but, oh, SO much more comfortable for us.
The previous room was a single hospital room with a lovely big window looking west over Spokane. So it was definitely nice. But it was very crowded. When Peg, Bill and I were all there, two of us had to cram up against the window while one stood at the foot of the bed or on a chair on the other side. And the chairs were wood with no padding.
I didn't really pay that much attention to the situation; it wasn't that important. But now we're in a room meant to include family. There are two soft recliner-like chairs that evidently convert into sleeping surfaces, there's a small table with two chairs for eating at, and a small refrigerator and microwave. Now that the surroundings are so much more comfortable, I am realizing why we were each getting pretty tired as we took a turn at staying with Mom.
It has been a LONG two weeks.
Especially for her.
But even after all this, my brave, wonderful mother has a weak smile for us when we come in the door and manages to make the nurses laugh.
Don't tell anyone, but we're smuggling in some beer a little later. :-)
At the same time, she still has that spark of humor that has made her so beloved by us all. When the nurses asked her what she wanted for dinner, she said, "Bud Light."
I didn't even know she liked Bud Light.
Since the level of care being given to her has changed, just today at about noon, they moved her to a different type of room, still on the same floor, but, oh, SO much more comfortable for us.
The previous room was a single hospital room with a lovely big window looking west over Spokane. So it was definitely nice. But it was very crowded. When Peg, Bill and I were all there, two of us had to cram up against the window while one stood at the foot of the bed or on a chair on the other side. And the chairs were wood with no padding.
I didn't really pay that much attention to the situation; it wasn't that important. But now we're in a room meant to include family. There are two soft recliner-like chairs that evidently convert into sleeping surfaces, there's a small table with two chairs for eating at, and a small refrigerator and microwave. Now that the surroundings are so much more comfortable, I am realizing why we were each getting pretty tired as we took a turn at staying with Mom.
It has been a LONG two weeks.
Especially for her.
But even after all this, my brave, wonderful mother has a weak smile for us when we come in the door and manages to make the nurses laugh.
Don't tell anyone, but we're smuggling in some beer a little later. :-)
Friday, May 9, 2008
Final wishes
Yesterday evening, Mom was alert, chipper, and feeling very well. Peg and Bill were able to enjoy a nice evening visit (I was still in Pullman), and her doctor was talking about a release date.
Overnight, her condition changed dramatically.
This morning, when the pulmonary therapist came in to administer a treatment, she heard a lot of "crackling" in Mom's lungs, which is a sign of fluid build up. So the "Rapid Response" team was called in to get Mom stabilized. The members of this team are exceptionally skilled in their areas of expertise. Their efforts were successful.
Peg was called, of course, and she called me. She and Bill, who has been staying here in Spokane ever since last weekend, came to the hospital, and I drove up from Pullman. All four of us conferred as a group. Mom has been saying to many of us over these past two weeks that she is ready to die. She has said this so often, and to so many of us at various points, that we, her children, pursued with her a serious, end-of-life wishes conversation. Although she has been very weak all day, she has been alert and clear-headed, so we felt confident about having this discussion today.
We very carefully and thoroughly discussed what exactly Mom wanted to do at this point. We identified the options for her. These options roughly fall into categories of
• "do not resuscitate if pulse and/or breathing stop";
• do everything medically possible
• do some things but not others (do antibiotics but no artificial feeding, for example)
• do only what will keep her comfortable
After about two hours of talking among ourselves (Bill, Peg, Mom and me), going through the hospital's forms, and getting clarifications from the various medical specialists, Mom has decided to accept only comfort-level treatment and there is a "do not resuscitate" order if her pulse/breathing stops.
Over the course of the afternoon, several specialists who have been involved with her care have come in to talk with her and us. She has confirmed this decision with all of them.
She will continue to accept IV infusions that keep the fluid levels in balance, and she is accepting the pulmonary therapy, a broncho-dialator. She will accept IV antibiotics to address an infection. But that's it. No new medicines, no new treatments, no aggressive measures.
There is a wonderful hospice program in Spokane with a just-recently-built 12-bed facility, Hospice House. She has been accepted to be taken there when a bed becomes available. That will probably be Monday or so.
Peg was particularly comforted to know that a former colleague--a nurse whom Peg admires, respects enormously--is the director of nursing for this hospice organization. Mom could not be going into better hands.
It is very sad news, I know, for all of us who love her so much that we will soon be saying goodbye to this wonderful, wonderful woman. Peg, Bill and I are so grateful to have been graced by such a mother. She has truly taught us what love is. As one expression of our gratitude for her love and motherly care, we want to support her desire, which she has made clear to us many, many times over the years, for a dignified death, not a protracted feeble helplessness. Sad as I, my brother and my sister are right now, we know this is what she wants for herself.
Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.
Overnight, her condition changed dramatically.
This morning, when the pulmonary therapist came in to administer a treatment, she heard a lot of "crackling" in Mom's lungs, which is a sign of fluid build up. So the "Rapid Response" team was called in to get Mom stabilized. The members of this team are exceptionally skilled in their areas of expertise. Their efforts were successful.
Peg was called, of course, and she called me. She and Bill, who has been staying here in Spokane ever since last weekend, came to the hospital, and I drove up from Pullman. All four of us conferred as a group. Mom has been saying to many of us over these past two weeks that she is ready to die. She has said this so often, and to so many of us at various points, that we, her children, pursued with her a serious, end-of-life wishes conversation. Although she has been very weak all day, she has been alert and clear-headed, so we felt confident about having this discussion today.
We very carefully and thoroughly discussed what exactly Mom wanted to do at this point. We identified the options for her. These options roughly fall into categories of
• "do not resuscitate if pulse and/or breathing stop";
• do everything medically possible
• do some things but not others (do antibiotics but no artificial feeding, for example)
• do only what will keep her comfortable
After about two hours of talking among ourselves (Bill, Peg, Mom and me), going through the hospital's forms, and getting clarifications from the various medical specialists, Mom has decided to accept only comfort-level treatment and there is a "do not resuscitate" order if her pulse/breathing stops.
Over the course of the afternoon, several specialists who have been involved with her care have come in to talk with her and us. She has confirmed this decision with all of them.
She will continue to accept IV infusions that keep the fluid levels in balance, and she is accepting the pulmonary therapy, a broncho-dialator. She will accept IV antibiotics to address an infection. But that's it. No new medicines, no new treatments, no aggressive measures.
There is a wonderful hospice program in Spokane with a just-recently-built 12-bed facility, Hospice House. She has been accepted to be taken there when a bed becomes available. That will probably be Monday or so.
Peg was particularly comforted to know that a former colleague--a nurse whom Peg admires, respects enormously--is the director of nursing for this hospice organization. Mom could not be going into better hands.
It is very sad news, I know, for all of us who love her so much that we will soon be saying goodbye to this wonderful, wonderful woman. Peg, Bill and I are so grateful to have been graced by such a mother. She has truly taught us what love is. As one expression of our gratitude for her love and motherly care, we want to support her desire, which she has made clear to us many, many times over the years, for a dignified death, not a protracted feeble helplessness. Sad as I, my brother and my sister are right now, we know this is what she wants for herself.
Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.
Finally some good news! Another update from Bill
Both Peggy and I were in Mom's hospital room yesterday when the cardiologist visited to tell her some good news.
The cardiologist had been called in to help a couple of days ago because Mom had been retaining fluids that had moved into her lungs and had put stress on her heart.
The medical staff has been taking aggressive action to get excess fluids out. Over the last few days, Rita has excreted over 7 pounds--that's more than about a gallon, folks!-of excess fluids.
Rita is getting back into "fighting shape" as a result. Her chest x-rays look clearer, her oxygen levels are greatly improved and near normal, and her blood counts (hemocrete and hemoglobin) are also greatly improved.
The cardiologist actually told Rita he was signing off the lead role he had assumed when the fluid build-up was taxing her heart so much.
Her primary oncology physician has said that Rita will stay in the hosptial through probably Tuesday and then be dismissed to a rehad faciltiy or other nursing location.
The cardiologist had been called in to help a couple of days ago because Mom had been retaining fluids that had moved into her lungs and had put stress on her heart.
The medical staff has been taking aggressive action to get excess fluids out. Over the last few days, Rita has excreted over 7 pounds--that's more than about a gallon, folks!-of excess fluids.
Rita is getting back into "fighting shape" as a result. Her chest x-rays look clearer, her oxygen levels are greatly improved and near normal, and her blood counts (hemocrete and hemoglobin) are also greatly improved.
The cardiologist actually told Rita he was signing off the lead role he had assumed when the fluid build-up was taxing her heart so much.
Her primary oncology physician has said that Rita will stay in the hosptial through probably Tuesday and then be dismissed to a rehad faciltiy or other nursing location.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
This one is from Bill
Sunday was Bloomsday. Over the last several years, I have looked forward to this event as a great time. I’ve also looked forward to it with a bit of anxiety, knowing that I would need to be in shape to try to stay up with my mother.
On Monday, we checked the race statistics. According to their records, Mom has done Bloomsday 27 times. She has walked with many family, friends, kids and grandkids, and she has made a lot more friends along the way.
Mom could have had more fun on most of the walks, but she did Bloomsday just like she has done her life-- not as a race, being concerned with where she placed, but more as a journey to connect with family and friends. To be part of a parade, not to be in front, but just to be with it.
On Sunday, she had visitors from her husband’s side of the family, the Williams family. I haven’t spent much time with Ron, Ingrid and their kids in the recent past, but I got to be there for some time while they visited Mom. They had many fun stories and memories of spending time with Mom and Jim at their Asotin home; it was great to hear about all those good times.
Grandma Rita and Grandpa Jim were legendary for their welcoming, kind treatment of kids and grandkids at their Asotin home. It was a tradition every summer to take the kids across the street to swim in the Snake River, to fish and to have picnics.
Grandma never let the fact that the "fish weren't biting" dampen a kid’s joy of bringing in the big one.
One such summer day when grandson Chris was disappointed at catching nothing as he, Mom and Jim fished in the river across from the house, Grandma Rita snuck back across the street to the house and pulled one of Jim’s fish from their freezer. While little Chris wasn't looking, she slipped it on his fishing line, threw it back in the water, and then yelled with joy, "fish on, fish on!"
Even a young kid knows that you don't pull fish from the Snake River frozen, gutted and all ready for the pan. But it was fun, and the memory of Mom’s kind joke still lives. Just like the Bloomsday race, it wasn't about the race or the finish, it was about the experience.
Hearing this fish tale recounted again with Rita in her hospital bed brought laughter from everyone in the room. And there was a gleam in mom's eye, knowing that she was able to impact us in those ways throughout her life.
From a medical standpoint, the last few days have been tough. Fluid has started to build up in her lungs, which is somewhat common during chemotherapy. Mom’s heart is not pumping as rhythmically as it should, while the demands on her heart are greater than normal for an 88-year person’s heart.
She remains in the hospital. Her blood statistics, which were the medical issue that first brought her in, are in decent shape. The priority now is to deal with the fluid build-up and retention.
She is noticeably weaker physically as she fights the fluid retention.
Her spirits are guarded. When family and friends join, she smiles and jokes with what energy she has, but she is easily tired. Her room is well decorated with cards, scrapbook pages, and mementoes and memories from family and friends. And she continues to harass and hassle family and friends with the glow and smiles she is famous for, even though the glow is dimmer and the smile is not quite as big.
Rita sends her thanks and love to all those who have reached out, and she gratefully accepts your faith and prayers as she walks a tough section of life’s "Bloomsday."
On Monday, we checked the race statistics. According to their records, Mom has done Bloomsday 27 times. She has walked with many family, friends, kids and grandkids, and she has made a lot more friends along the way.
Mom could have had more fun on most of the walks, but she did Bloomsday just like she has done her life-- not as a race, being concerned with where she placed, but more as a journey to connect with family and friends. To be part of a parade, not to be in front, but just to be with it.
On Sunday, she had visitors from her husband’s side of the family, the Williams family. I haven’t spent much time with Ron, Ingrid and their kids in the recent past, but I got to be there for some time while they visited Mom. They had many fun stories and memories of spending time with Mom and Jim at their Asotin home; it was great to hear about all those good times.
Grandma Rita and Grandpa Jim were legendary for their welcoming, kind treatment of kids and grandkids at their Asotin home. It was a tradition every summer to take the kids across the street to swim in the Snake River, to fish and to have picnics.
Grandma never let the fact that the "fish weren't biting" dampen a kid’s joy of bringing in the big one.
One such summer day when grandson Chris was disappointed at catching nothing as he, Mom and Jim fished in the river across from the house, Grandma Rita snuck back across the street to the house and pulled one of Jim’s fish from their freezer. While little Chris wasn't looking, she slipped it on his fishing line, threw it back in the water, and then yelled with joy, "fish on, fish on!"
Even a young kid knows that you don't pull fish from the Snake River frozen, gutted and all ready for the pan. But it was fun, and the memory of Mom’s kind joke still lives. Just like the Bloomsday race, it wasn't about the race or the finish, it was about the experience.
Hearing this fish tale recounted again with Rita in her hospital bed brought laughter from everyone in the room. And there was a gleam in mom's eye, knowing that she was able to impact us in those ways throughout her life.
From a medical standpoint, the last few days have been tough. Fluid has started to build up in her lungs, which is somewhat common during chemotherapy. Mom’s heart is not pumping as rhythmically as it should, while the demands on her heart are greater than normal for an 88-year person’s heart.
She remains in the hospital. Her blood statistics, which were the medical issue that first brought her in, are in decent shape. The priority now is to deal with the fluid build-up and retention.
She is noticeably weaker physically as she fights the fluid retention.
Her spirits are guarded. When family and friends join, she smiles and jokes with what energy she has, but she is easily tired. Her room is well decorated with cards, scrapbook pages, and mementoes and memories from family and friends. And she continues to harass and hassle family and friends with the glow and smiles she is famous for, even though the glow is dimmer and the smile is not quite as big.
Rita sends her thanks and love to all those who have reached out, and she gratefully accepts your faith and prayers as she walks a tough section of life’s "Bloomsday."
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Two steps forward, one back.
The Bloomsday weekend has come and gone. This was one of the few Bloomsdays in the past 28 years that Mom has had to miss. But Bill and I carried her banner. Bill even managed to get a t-shirt for her. She’s hiding behind it in this photo.
Over the weekend, her son-in-law and daughter-in-law Ron and Ingrid Williams, along with her grandson Chris and his bride visited Mom. Surprisingly, they managed to get hotel rooms even though the town was full of Bloomsday participants and volunteers. They visited with Mom Saturday night and watched the live coverage of the race’s start and finish on Sunday.
Since Bill and I were not featured runners enjoying live television coverage, we kept Mom up-to-date on our progress on the Bloomsday route by calling Ron on his cell phone and having him relay the information to her. Her hearing isn’t working well enough nowadays to get on the regular telephone, much less those silly cellphones.
I must say, though, that this past week has converted me from cellphone-resistance to cellphone enthusiasm. I’m sure that Peg and Bill would agree that we all would have gone abso-freaking-lutely insane if we hadn’t been able to speak with one another at a moment’s notice.
Note: the following may fall into the category of too much information. If the details of medical treatment don’t sit well with you, you can skip this paragraph. About Mom’s physical condition: the weekend has her continuing to improve. Her blood count and blood oxygen levels have gradually gotten back to near normal, her temp frequently has gone below 100, and her infection has almost cleared up. She has been retaining water, though. The heart and the lungs have been working extra hard as a result. The diuretic they’ve administered really kicked in yesterday, though. She’s probably lucky that she’s on a catheter. The water retention has also included pulmonary edema, so they’re tweaking the treatment plan for that, too.
Although she has definitely improved since she was admitted, it has been a case of two steps forward, one step back.
Over the weekend, her son-in-law and daughter-in-law Ron and Ingrid Williams, along with her grandson Chris and his bride visited Mom. Surprisingly, they managed to get hotel rooms even though the town was full of Bloomsday participants and volunteers. They visited with Mom Saturday night and watched the live coverage of the race’s start and finish on Sunday.
Since Bill and I were not featured runners enjoying live television coverage, we kept Mom up-to-date on our progress on the Bloomsday route by calling Ron on his cell phone and having him relay the information to her. Her hearing isn’t working well enough nowadays to get on the regular telephone, much less those silly cellphones.
I must say, though, that this past week has converted me from cellphone-resistance to cellphone enthusiasm. I’m sure that Peg and Bill would agree that we all would have gone abso-freaking-lutely insane if we hadn’t been able to speak with one another at a moment’s notice.
Note: the following may fall into the category of too much information. If the details of medical treatment don’t sit well with you, you can skip this paragraph. About Mom’s physical condition: the weekend has her continuing to improve. Her blood count and blood oxygen levels have gradually gotten back to near normal, her temp frequently has gone below 100, and her infection has almost cleared up. She has been retaining water, though. The heart and the lungs have been working extra hard as a result. The diuretic they’ve administered really kicked in yesterday, though. She’s probably lucky that she’s on a catheter. The water retention has also included pulmonary edema, so they’re tweaking the treatment plan for that, too.
Although she has definitely improved since she was admitted, it has been a case of two steps forward, one step back.
Recently, since the fever has gone down so much, she hasn’t been delirious, but she has been very sleepy. I stayed with her for three hours Sunday afternoon; she was awake for only 10 minutes. I packed a lot of news into that little bit of time, let me tell you, before she told me that she wanted to go back to sleep. Bill has been staying with her at times over the weekend and then all yesterday and today. When he told her that he had to go back to Wenatchee and asked whether Peg or I should come back in and hang out with her, she said, “Please, no!” She’s really tired and just wants to be left alone to sleep.
She may not realize that we hang around as much for our own peace of mind as for her wellbeing. But I guess it’s time to stop hovering and let her be taken care of by her wonderful nurses, nursing assistants and docs. So thanks Evelyn, Patti, Sandy, Linda, Amanda, all the other nurses and aides whose names I can’t remember, and thanks Dr. Rosales. We're counting on you!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
When Rita Smiles . . .
How happy I was this morning when I entered the hospital room and saw Mom smile! She actually seemed somewhat cheerful! It seems as if her personality is normalizing as her health gets better. She sat up for both breakfast and lunch today, feeding herself well and eating better than I've seen so far. That's not to say, though, that she is happy about this enfeebled state she's in.
Mom has always been so engaged with people and her surroundings. She seems unwilling to become old, a senior whose feeble physical condition and waning senses force her into observing more than participating in life's activities.
I suppose I should celebrate Mom's rebelliousness against the inevitability of aging. Dylan Thomas wrote his magnificent poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" at his father's deathbed, begging him to do something other than sink peacefully into the eternal sleep. He would be glad if he could see my mom.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray
Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Juiced up!
They pumped Mom full of stuff yesterday. At one point, they had two IV pumps going at the same time. She got antibiotics, two units of blood, and potassium. Her face has filled back out; it was looking gaunt for a while.
For those interested in her vitals: her temperature this afternoon at 4:00 is 100, blood oxygen is 91%, blood pressure 117/61. Her white blood count this morning was .7, up from .3 yesterday. The goal is 1.0. So she's definitely not as sick as she was.
Sometimes the better you feel, the harder it is to be sick. I asked her if she was getting bored. She said, "Yes." We always said that Mom was not likely to be a happy camper as a patient, when and if she ever got really sick. And that is indeed the way it has turned out. Nurses generally make unwilling patients, though, don't they?
This morning when her doctor came around, she told him that she was mad at him for making her feel better. He took it well. I think he even was glad that she was getting sassy with him.
Although she mainly just briefly asks and answers question, she is interacting more lucidly now that her vitals are starting to pick up again. She's just still too weak for conversation.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Sometimes when you're sick, life doesn't seem worth living
I've been with Mom in Spokane's Sacred Heart Medical Center since Wednesday morning.
When I got here Wednesday, she seemed to be getting on top of the infection and even was able to sit up and feed herself. Then Wednesday night, her fever spiked again, and it was like starting over. She is weak, shaky and somewhat out of it, although that comes and goes depending, Peg thinks, on the fever.
On Wednesday, her brother Adrian and sister-in-law Rose came to Spokane from Lewiston, where they have been visiting for the past week. Adrian and Rita had intended to have a nice long visit together, but this medical crisis deep-sixed those plans. They're having to go back to their home in California with the image of Mom at her sickest in their minds. Distressing for them, I know.
Peg and I have been tag teaming so that Mom has one of us by her most of the time. The nursing staff and other caregivers have been wonderful, but both Peg and I want to be around to make sure that she gets water or coffee when she wants it, that she eats as much as she is willing to eat, and that she is kept entertained or at least distracted.
Because she has been out of it as much as she has, they did an MRI yesterday, just to ensure that the CAT scan on Saturday hadn't misled them about the state of her brain. Thankfully, it showed no problems.
Her spirits are low--she has NEVER been this sick physically in her life--and she is saying, "what's the use?" But we know that once her white blood cell count improves, she will feel more positive. We hope so, at least. Poor thing.
White blood cell count was at .1; this morning it is at .3; it needs to get to 1.0.
Because she has been out of it as much as she has, they did an MRI yesterday, just to ensure that the CAT scan on Saturday hadn't misled them about the state of her brain. Thankfully, it showed no problems.
Her spirits are low--she has NEVER been this sick physically in her life--and she is saying, "what's the use?" But we know that once her white blood cell count improves, she will feel more positive. We hope so, at least. Poor thing.
White blood cell count was at .1; this morning it is at .3; it needs to get to 1.0.
At least we're going in the right direction. We who are not sick as dogs, as she is, cling to this hope.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Hospitalization
Sad news to report. Mom is in the hospital with an infection. It came on her overnight this weekend. On Friday (April 25), she and Peg had a nice evening together and Mom ate heartily. The next morning (Saturday, April 26), Peg couldn’t wake her up. She knew Mom was alive because she was breathing and had a heartbeat, but still wouldn’t come to complete consciousness. Peg called 911, and Mom ended up in Sacred Heart. The EMT’s suggested that she go there because of the possibility that she had had a stroke.
By about 11:30 AM, they began a CAT scan, and by about 1 PM were able to determine that there was no sign of a stroke on the CAT image. They had also taken a complete blood count and found that her white blood cells were “down to zero.” So they delivered antibiotics and took cultures. It wasn’t until the next morning, however, (Sunday, April 27) that they knew what bug it was and could be sure of the diagnosis: bacterial infection in the blood.
Saturday was a bad night for Mom and for us. She was quite sick. She would occasionally become alert, but Peg, Bill and I all thought she was clearly delirious. She was refusing treatment: “No chemo; no antibiotics; let go, let God” she said over and over again with great vehemence. That really affected Peg, Bill and me. And some of the hospital staff decided that she was lucid enough that her wishes had to be respected. As a result, it was a late night that included lots of discussion with the medical staff about appropriate treatment.
Sunday morning, she showed signs of improvement. I had spent the night there, so I was ready when she was coming to. She seemed a little bit more alert than she had been the night before.
Poor thing, her mouth was so dry. I asked and she agreed to take some water by mouth. She couldn’t lift her head so I held the cup and straw for her. As I helped her, I became aware that she smelled the coffee on my breath. I asked her if she wanted a cup of coffee. She said yes to that, too. I got some nice hot coffee for her, put the straw to her lips, and, boy, did she suck it down. I asked her if it seemed to be too hot. Of course, old iron mouth said, “No, it’s good.” Hallelujah! She sucked down I think three cups in very short order, and from that point on, she was more much more receptive to other assistance.
I firmly believe that the taste of a good, hot cup of coffee brought back her will to live.
Peg and Bill came back to be with her within an hour or so. We were all glad that she seemed to be a bit better but still very, very sad and concerned about her refusal of treatment
When the doctor showed up about noon, he spoke to her very clearly. He said he needed her to accept the antibiotics and the electrolytes, and he needed her to let the nurses draw blood. She said, “OK,” and I can tell you that Peg, Bill and I all erupted with glad relief and gratitude to Mom and many thanks to the doctor. I even hugged him! We hurried the nurse to get the antibiotics and start them up before Mom or anyone else could interfere.
By Monday (April 28), Mom was alert enough to hold conversations with Bill in the morning, me in the afternoon and Peg in the evening. She was strong enough to stand up in the shower and to sit up in a chair to feed herself.
As you might imagine, the weekend was a complete blur to her, so each one of us went over the events of Saturday and Sunday with her. We have downplayed somewhat the fact that for about twelve hours, she was refusing treatment, and about the effect of that on us. We recognize that she is still having a hard time putting it all together in her mind. But we have hopes that when she gets better, we can come to a clearer understanding of her desires.
She has always said that we should refuse all heroic measures to sustain life, and we definitely will respect that, but we did not regard the intravenous administration of antibiotics as a heroic measure. We were distressed that, in her delirium, she was able to persuade the medical staff to terminate that assistance. This is going to take more talking about, definitely.
Today, her fever has risen a bit again. She says that her mind feels foggy, that she feels “silly.” The treatment is continuing: antibiotics, injections to stimulate white blood cell production and hospitalization. We don’t know what will happen next, and we are taking it day-by-day, hour-by-hour.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.
This is a photo of Bill's, Peg's and Mom's hands as we were with her in the hospital room.
By about 11:30 AM, they began a CAT scan, and by about 1 PM were able to determine that there was no sign of a stroke on the CAT image. They had also taken a complete blood count and found that her white blood cells were “down to zero.” So they delivered antibiotics and took cultures. It wasn’t until the next morning, however, (Sunday, April 27) that they knew what bug it was and could be sure of the diagnosis: bacterial infection in the blood.
Saturday was a bad night for Mom and for us. She was quite sick. She would occasionally become alert, but Peg, Bill and I all thought she was clearly delirious. She was refusing treatment: “No chemo; no antibiotics; let go, let God” she said over and over again with great vehemence. That really affected Peg, Bill and me. And some of the hospital staff decided that she was lucid enough that her wishes had to be respected. As a result, it was a late night that included lots of discussion with the medical staff about appropriate treatment.
Sunday morning, she showed signs of improvement. I had spent the night there, so I was ready when she was coming to. She seemed a little bit more alert than she had been the night before.
Poor thing, her mouth was so dry. I asked and she agreed to take some water by mouth. She couldn’t lift her head so I held the cup and straw for her. As I helped her, I became aware that she smelled the coffee on my breath. I asked her if she wanted a cup of coffee. She said yes to that, too. I got some nice hot coffee for her, put the straw to her lips, and, boy, did she suck it down. I asked her if it seemed to be too hot. Of course, old iron mouth said, “No, it’s good.” Hallelujah! She sucked down I think three cups in very short order, and from that point on, she was more much more receptive to other assistance.
I firmly believe that the taste of a good, hot cup of coffee brought back her will to live.
Peg and Bill came back to be with her within an hour or so. We were all glad that she seemed to be a bit better but still very, very sad and concerned about her refusal of treatment
When the doctor showed up about noon, he spoke to her very clearly. He said he needed her to accept the antibiotics and the electrolytes, and he needed her to let the nurses draw blood. She said, “OK,” and I can tell you that Peg, Bill and I all erupted with glad relief and gratitude to Mom and many thanks to the doctor. I even hugged him! We hurried the nurse to get the antibiotics and start them up before Mom or anyone else could interfere.
By Monday (April 28), Mom was alert enough to hold conversations with Bill in the morning, me in the afternoon and Peg in the evening. She was strong enough to stand up in the shower and to sit up in a chair to feed herself.
As you might imagine, the weekend was a complete blur to her, so each one of us went over the events of Saturday and Sunday with her. We have downplayed somewhat the fact that for about twelve hours, she was refusing treatment, and about the effect of that on us. We recognize that she is still having a hard time putting it all together in her mind. But we have hopes that when she gets better, we can come to a clearer understanding of her desires.
She has always said that we should refuse all heroic measures to sustain life, and we definitely will respect that, but we did not regard the intravenous administration of antibiotics as a heroic measure. We were distressed that, in her delirium, she was able to persuade the medical staff to terminate that assistance. This is going to take more talking about, definitely.
Today, her fever has risen a bit again. She says that her mind feels foggy, that she feels “silly.” The treatment is continuing: antibiotics, injections to stimulate white blood cell production and hospitalization. We don’t know what will happen next, and we are taking it day-by-day, hour-by-hour.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers.
This is a photo of Bill's, Peg's and Mom's hands as we were with her in the hospital room.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sad turn of events
Our mom took a turn for the worst on Saturday, April 26th. She is currently in Sacred Heart Medical Center in Spokane but hopefully will be released later this week. She was looking forward to returning home to Asotin for a week when she was struck with a bacterial infection which hit suddenly on Saturday. Because of the depleted immune system it took rapid control of her body. She is bouncing back slowly, but it was touch and go for a while. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
Thanks to those of you who have commented on the blog. We share your comments and best wishes with her. If you haven't figured it out- Charmaine says all you have to do in click on the blue "comment" word. Thanks to Lisa, her friend and banker, for sending your thoughts. I will pass them on to mom tomorrow! She has friends everywhere!
Thanks to those of you who have commented on the blog. We share your comments and best wishes with her. If you haven't figured it out- Charmaine says all you have to do in click on the blue "comment" word. Thanks to Lisa, her friend and banker, for sending your thoughts. I will pass them on to mom tomorrow! She has friends everywhere!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
The second cycle of six
I spent the weekend with Mom and Peg in Spokane. Just felt like I wanted to be there with her and get a firsthand sense of how she is doing. So here is another update.
Mom continues to be in pretty good spirits. She is definitely moving more slowly than normal and doesn’t have a lot of physical pep. But she is alert and interactive—still fun company. Mom, Peg and I went to a movie on Saturday (Al Pacino’s 88 Minutes, a riveting thriller: thumbs up!) and then had a restaurant meal. So Mom is able to get around well enough to enjoy her normal Saturday activities.
On Sunday, Peg had arranged to take some well-earned “me” time with her scrapbooking buddies, so Mom and I had a nice time together—reading the newspaper, making fruit salad, pedicures--stuff like that.
The weather was sunny, although cool, so we enjoyed a slow Sunday drive through Riverside State Park. It’s a wonderful forested area along the Spokane River, an oasis of nature at the edge of sprawling Spokane suburbs. There, she was able to get out for a short walk on level ground. It turned out to be a nice little excursion to the woods.
Mom and I had also gone on a walk around the block earlier in the day. Mom thinks she may have overdone it with the exercise, according to Peg, but I know Mom would rather push the envelope than to be a couch potato.
Yesterday, Peg went with Mom to the second appointment of her second cycle of chemo. I hope Peggets a chance to update this blog with more medical details, but until she does, here’s what I have learned so far.
Mom’s red blood cell count has returned to acceptable levels, thanks to that shot they had given her last week. Mom asked for another one, evidently. "I like those," she told the staff.
So they told her that shot costs $3,000!
Evidently, because of the expense, Medicare is considering refusing to cover it. That would leave someone in Mom’s condition with the recourse of transfusions. Peg thinks, and I agree, that seems counterproductive, since transfusions involve risk. We think of one of Mom’s dear nieces whose hepatitis-C was acquired in the hospital. So it looks like one of us siblings will need to step up and bleed for Mom. I myself am very willing if the meds I’m on don’t disqualify me. Peg's meds disqualify her. So she and I have decided that Bill will be the bleeder, if I can’t. Right, Bill?
Well, we’re looking forward to the arrival of Uncle Adrian and Aunt Rose. Rose and Adrian are taking a leisurely drive from San Jose with several stopovers along the way. They will be in the L-C Valley sometime toward the end of the month. We’re hoping that Mom is able to be in Asotin that week of April 27 and maybe the following week so we can all visit together. We’ll see how it goes. It will be a brother-sister reunion squared, with Aunt Rose united with brothers Bud and Blue and Adrian united with sister Rita. Maybe we'll look at slides of our time in Hawaii.
It’s always so much fun to have loved ones around. About two weeks ago, while Mom was in Asotin before this current second round of chemo, she enjoyed a several-day visit with her son-in-law Ron (Jim’s son) and grandson Davy. I’m not sure that I have all the details right, but I understand that Ron and Davy were on a father-son road trip that included a visit with Grandma.
They lent her a hand with shopping and took care of many, many other little details. She returned the favor by teaching them how to poach eggs. Evidently, they had never heard of that way of preparing eggs before, which tickled Mom no end. She, Peg and I are still giggling about it. Imagine going to sleepy little Asotin to acquire culinary skills! At any rate, she--and we kids--are very grateful for Ron and Davy’s company and love, and we hope their journey has been wonderful.
Mom continues to be in pretty good spirits. She is definitely moving more slowly than normal and doesn’t have a lot of physical pep. But she is alert and interactive—still fun company. Mom, Peg and I went to a movie on Saturday (Al Pacino’s 88 Minutes, a riveting thriller: thumbs up!) and then had a restaurant meal. So Mom is able to get around well enough to enjoy her normal Saturday activities.
On Sunday, Peg had arranged to take some well-earned “me” time with her scrapbooking buddies, so Mom and I had a nice time together—reading the newspaper, making fruit salad, pedicures--stuff like that.
The weather was sunny, although cool, so we enjoyed a slow Sunday drive through Riverside State Park. It’s a wonderful forested area along the Spokane River, an oasis of nature at the edge of sprawling Spokane suburbs. There, she was able to get out for a short walk on level ground. It turned out to be a nice little excursion to the woods.
Mom and I had also gone on a walk around the block earlier in the day. Mom thinks she may have overdone it with the exercise, according to Peg, but I know Mom would rather push the envelope than to be a couch potato.
Yesterday, Peg went with Mom to the second appointment of her second cycle of chemo. I hope Peggets a chance to update this blog with more medical details, but until she does, here’s what I have learned so far.
Mom’s red blood cell count has returned to acceptable levels, thanks to that shot they had given her last week. Mom asked for another one, evidently. "I like those," she told the staff.
So they told her that shot costs $3,000!
Evidently, because of the expense, Medicare is considering refusing to cover it. That would leave someone in Mom’s condition with the recourse of transfusions. Peg thinks, and I agree, that seems counterproductive, since transfusions involve risk. We think of one of Mom’s dear nieces whose hepatitis-C was acquired in the hospital. So it looks like one of us siblings will need to step up and bleed for Mom. I myself am very willing if the meds I’m on don’t disqualify me. Peg's meds disqualify her. So she and I have decided that Bill will be the bleeder, if I can’t. Right, Bill?
Well, we’re looking forward to the arrival of Uncle Adrian and Aunt Rose. Rose and Adrian are taking a leisurely drive from San Jose with several stopovers along the way. They will be in the L-C Valley sometime toward the end of the month. We’re hoping that Mom is able to be in Asotin that week of April 27 and maybe the following week so we can all visit together. We’ll see how it goes. It will be a brother-sister reunion squared, with Aunt Rose united with brothers Bud and Blue and Adrian united with sister Rita. Maybe we'll look at slides of our time in Hawaii.
It’s always so much fun to have loved ones around. About two weeks ago, while Mom was in Asotin before this current second round of chemo, she enjoyed a several-day visit with her son-in-law Ron (Jim’s son) and grandson Davy. I’m not sure that I have all the details right, but I understand that Ron and Davy were on a father-son road trip that included a visit with Grandma.
They lent her a hand with shopping and took care of many, many other little details. She returned the favor by teaching them how to poach eggs. Evidently, they had never heard of that way of preparing eggs before, which tickled Mom no end. She, Peg and I are still giggling about it. Imagine going to sleepy little Asotin to acquire culinary skills! At any rate, she--and we kids--are very grateful for Ron and Davy’s company and love, and we hope their journey has been wonderful.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Mom and Peg
Well, for anyone who is worried about how well Mom has been handling the first week of her second cycle of chemo (including me!), take a look at this photo of Peg and Mom having dinner last night at Shari's. Except for her questionable taste in restaurants, I'd say she's doing pretty well.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Eat lots of irons!
After a very difficult Tuesday, Mom has perked up considerably. She’s now lively and alert, the tremors have diminished to almost nothing, and she has even been able to take walks around the block, accompanied by Bro Bill. (He came over from Wenatchee for a few days when he heard that some additional assistance might be in order. Definitely a mensch!) Mom herself has said that while Tuesday was a 3 on a scale of 1-10, Wednesday was a 6.5 and today so far is a 7.
We’ve agreed that Monday, with about six hours of doctors’ appointments, including the chemo, was just too much. Next time, no double or triple scheduling.
Both Peg and Bill have been making sure that mom eats lots of red meat, dark green veggies and red grapes to shore up her low red blood cell count; she got steak Tuesday and pot roast with veggies last night. My frequent text messages to Bill advocating that she eat foods high in iron has led him to take a very humorous take on the topic:
It feels good to laugh.
"Tell Mom her lunch is ready."
.JPG)
"Getn dinr ready"
We’ve agreed that Monday, with about six hours of doctors’ appointments, including the chemo, was just too much. Next time, no double or triple scheduling.
Both Peg and Bill have been making sure that mom eats lots of red meat, dark green veggies and red grapes to shore up her low red blood cell count; she got steak Tuesday and pot roast with veggies last night. My frequent text messages to Bill advocating that she eat foods high in iron has led him to take a very humorous take on the topic:
It feels good to laugh.
"Tell Mom her lunch is ready."
.JPG)
"Getn dinr ready"
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
An intermission--and then the next round begins
The past week continued to be a slow one for our lovely Rita. She just didn't have any energy, even upon getting up in the morning. In fact, after breakfast and taking her pills, she would usually take a nap. This is very unlike her usual behavior.
It has been so cold and gloomy here that only the forsythia has been brave enough to bloom. But the weekend offered our first real spring weather. On Saturday, we pulled the lawn chairs out of storage and basked happily in the 77-degree sunshine, picnic-ing on chicken and spinach salads. A few tulips finally poked their heads out along with us. Both of us were all smiles about finally getting some blue sky and warm sun.
She made a decision this weekend: Rita Williams will not be doing Bloomsday 2008 (the 7.5 mile marathon in Spokane that regularly attracts 40,000-60,000 people). This breaks a nearly un-broken 23+ year streak. Instead, she and Peg will play the support roles of cook and chauffeur while Bill and I carry the family banner. I expect Mom will enjoy the Bloomsday experience almost as much from the sidelines, though. It really is an exciting festival, and she hasn’t been able to see it from that perspective in a long, long time. I just hope she doesn't pilfer my finisher's t-shirt afterwards.
So, as to the most recent past, yesterday, April 14, began the second cycle of chemotherapy. On Sunday, Peg had met Mom and me in Colfax, the halfway mark between the L-C Valley and Spokane, and Mom continued up to Spokane with her. Peg went with Mom to her two appointments yesterday, the chemo in the late morning and then an eye exam in the early afternoon. I haven't heard the details yet, but Peg did text me that these two appointments took SIX hours. Yipes! I bet they were both very tired when that was over.
Peg's text message also mentioned that Mom's blood test showed some anemia--which explains the muscle weakness--so they gave her some sort of booster before administering the poisons. I'll post more about that when I get more information, or maybe Peg will. I haven’t heard whether Mom has suffered any other effects of the chemo, like nausea, but will post on that soon.
Mom has said that she thinks she may be beginning to lose some hair, too. After she washed her hair on Saturday, she said that there was more hair than usual in the drain. If she is losing hair, though, it isn't noticeable at this point. We haven't talked wigs yet, but I would like to see her as a redhead. Any other recommendations?
It has been so cold and gloomy here that only the forsythia has been brave enough to bloom. But the weekend offered our first real spring weather. On Saturday, we pulled the lawn chairs out of storage and basked happily in the 77-degree sunshine, picnic-ing on chicken and spinach salads. A few tulips finally poked their heads out along with us. Both of us were all smiles about finally getting some blue sky and warm sun.
She made a decision this weekend: Rita Williams will not be doing Bloomsday 2008 (the 7.5 mile marathon in Spokane that regularly attracts 40,000-60,000 people). This breaks a nearly un-broken 23+ year streak. Instead, she and Peg will play the support roles of cook and chauffeur while Bill and I carry the family banner. I expect Mom will enjoy the Bloomsday experience almost as much from the sidelines, though. It really is an exciting festival, and she hasn’t been able to see it from that perspective in a long, long time. I just hope she doesn't pilfer my finisher's t-shirt afterwards.
So, as to the most recent past, yesterday, April 14, began the second cycle of chemotherapy. On Sunday, Peg had met Mom and me in Colfax, the halfway mark between the L-C Valley and Spokane, and Mom continued up to Spokane with her. Peg went with Mom to her two appointments yesterday, the chemo in the late morning and then an eye exam in the early afternoon. I haven't heard the details yet, but Peg did text me that these two appointments took SIX hours. Yipes! I bet they were both very tired when that was over.
Peg's text message also mentioned that Mom's blood test showed some anemia--which explains the muscle weakness--so they gave her some sort of booster before administering the poisons. I'll post more about that when I get more information, or maybe Peg will. I haven’t heard whether Mom has suffered any other effects of the chemo, like nausea, but will post on that soon.
Mom has said that she thinks she may be beginning to lose some hair, too. After she washed her hair on Saturday, she said that there was more hair than usual in the drain. If she is losing hair, though, it isn't noticeable at this point. We haven't talked wigs yet, but I would like to see her as a redhead. Any other recommendations?
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Slowing down for a while
I had to take an early leave of Mom today because of a Chorale event in Pullman in the afternoon. Usually, I stay through Sunday and take off for the week early Monday. I was a little concerned to leave her alone because she has been pretty tired. Yesterday afternoon she stretched out on the sofa and watched a basketball game, and that is just not like her at all.
She says she feels OK, though, except that her "vision isn't worth a damn."
On Thursday, while she was dealing with a broken kitchen faucet that wouldn't be fixed until I got down there for the weekend, another stressful irritation occurred: the toilet backed up and wouldn't open up again, no matter how she tried to plunge and problem with unbent coathanger. So I called around until I found a "rooter" who came by and fixed it. Still, having a backed up toilet is not fun when you're well--and less fun when you're sick. I did manage to get the kitchen sink back in working order on Saturday, too, so all is OK again for the time being.
Peg, Bill and I are feeling sad to see her slow down. She's accepting it as the necessary consequence of the medical treatment, though, and that will, we all hope, lead to cure and recovery. We're so grateful for friends who are dropping by to check on her.
She says she feels OK, though, except that her "vision isn't worth a damn."
On Thursday, while she was dealing with a broken kitchen faucet that wouldn't be fixed until I got down there for the weekend, another stressful irritation occurred: the toilet backed up and wouldn't open up again, no matter how she tried to plunge and problem with unbent coathanger. So I called around until I found a "rooter" who came by and fixed it. Still, having a backed up toilet is not fun when you're well--and less fun when you're sick. I did manage to get the kitchen sink back in working order on Saturday, too, so all is OK again for the time being.
Peg, Bill and I are feeling sad to see her slow down. She's accepting it as the necessary consequence of the medical treatment, though, and that will, we all hope, lead to cure and recovery. We're so grateful for friends who are dropping by to check on her.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Back at home--and happy about it
Now that lovely Rita is back in Asotin, she is having a chance to re-connect with all of her friends in the Valley. She told me that on Tuesday her friend Ellen came over and together they said a rosary; that was heartwarming to hear about. Today, Kate has arranged to pick her up and bring her to her beauty parlor for another one of those beautiful hair-dos that Kate always does. These, along with numerous other expressions of kindness and concern from others, such as Joyce, Virginia and Ingrid, have really lifted her spirits. Last night, I drove from Pullman to Asotin and spent the night with her. I found her eyes sparkling and her manner lively, even though it's clear that she's not feeling completely comfortable. Thank you, thank you to everyone.
The kind folks at the Tri-State Hospital Lifeline program put that equipment back into the house. Mom had had it set up for a short time before deciding to move into Evergreen Estates Retirement Center. Now that she is going to have to be alone for periods of time during the day, it was important, we all agreed, to get it back in place. My mind is a lot easier because of it, for sure.
On Monday, there was a bit of a scare with one of her medications. While getting her Monday dose out of her Sunday-through-Saturday pill box, she accidently dropped the Wednesday dose on the floor. Neither of us noticed it until a bit later, when I saw two capsules on the kitchen floor. One of them had been broken open, leaving a dusty pile of medicine on the floor. The other one seemed as if it might have been slightly bitten by one of the dogs, but it hadn't been pierced. I wasn't sure how many capsules make up each dose, so I checked the pill box. The remaining pill box sections each had three capsules, not two. Yipes! Could Zen or Yoda have eaten one of them? That quite distressing possibility had me madly making calls to confirm that the Wednesday pill box section should have had three capsules in it. Only when I was on the phone with Peg for the second or third time did I finally spot the third capsule at the edge of the kitchen floor. It was whole. Thank goodness!
So then began a quest for a replacement for the broken pill. We would need to track one down before her final dose on Wednesday. I called almost all of the pharmacies in the Valley, but no one stocked that medication. I called my Pullman pharmacy; they could order it for the next day. Ruminating, I realized that billing would be SO complicated, and this medication is $60 per capsule. Finally, a wonderful woman at Albertons Sav-On pharmacy in Spokane where Peg had originally gotten the prescription stepped up and offered to play a truly kind and generous role. They agreed to run over to the post office with a single capsule and mail it overnight mail to Mom's P.O. Box in Asotin. It got there in time, and we owe a big, big thanks to the pharmacy staff there.
I won't be able to get down to Asotin tonight because of an evening meeting, but I may go down tomorrow evening, unless Mom is doing so well that the commute just seems silly. I definitely will be going down for the weekend, though.
The kind folks at the Tri-State Hospital Lifeline program put that equipment back into the house. Mom had had it set up for a short time before deciding to move into Evergreen Estates Retirement Center. Now that she is going to have to be alone for periods of time during the day, it was important, we all agreed, to get it back in place. My mind is a lot easier because of it, for sure.
On Monday, there was a bit of a scare with one of her medications. While getting her Monday dose out of her Sunday-through-Saturday pill box, she accidently dropped the Wednesday dose on the floor. Neither of us noticed it until a bit later, when I saw two capsules on the kitchen floor. One of them had been broken open, leaving a dusty pile of medicine on the floor. The other one seemed as if it might have been slightly bitten by one of the dogs, but it hadn't been pierced. I wasn't sure how many capsules make up each dose, so I checked the pill box. The remaining pill box sections each had three capsules, not two. Yipes! Could Zen or Yoda have eaten one of them? That quite distressing possibility had me madly making calls to confirm that the Wednesday pill box section should have had three capsules in it. Only when I was on the phone with Peg for the second or third time did I finally spot the third capsule at the edge of the kitchen floor. It was whole. Thank goodness!
So then began a quest for a replacement for the broken pill. We would need to track one down before her final dose on Wednesday. I called almost all of the pharmacies in the Valley, but no one stocked that medication. I called my Pullman pharmacy; they could order it for the next day. Ruminating, I realized that billing would be SO complicated, and this medication is $60 per capsule. Finally, a wonderful woman at Albertons Sav-On pharmacy in Spokane where Peg had originally gotten the prescription stepped up and offered to play a truly kind and generous role. They agreed to run over to the post office with a single capsule and mail it overnight mail to Mom's P.O. Box in Asotin. It got there in time, and we owe a big, big thanks to the pharmacy staff there.
I won't be able to get down to Asotin tonight because of an evening meeting, but I may go down tomorrow evening, unless Mom is doing so well that the commute just seems silly. I definitely will be going down for the weekend, though.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
March 30, 2008
Never one to let grass grow under her feet, lovely Rita has temporarily returned to Asotin. Her next chemo treatment will be on April 11th. This lapse between treatments gives her the opportunity to go to her home and get out of the snow which is still plaguing Spokane.
On Saturday, cousins Jonna and Vicky drove from the coast to see mom. They had quite a harrowing trip having decided to leave their homes on Friday night rather than Saturday morning. They got caught for about 45 minutes when Snoqualamie Pass closed, then proceeded to Spokane where they planned to get a hotel room for the night (so as to not awaken mom and me). Oops! Forgot that the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament is in town! They had to drive all the way to Coeur D'Alene to find a room. They both laughed about it knowing they could have found rooms in Moses Lake, Ritzville or Cheney! What a trip! They graciously offered to drive mom back home which saved both Charm and I the drive. Thanks cousins!
We want to thank all of you who have written or called to express support for mom. She does fatigue easily so we ask for your understanding if she doesn't respond to all calls or visits. All in all she has handled this challenge as she has everything else in her life...with humor and strength!
On Saturday, cousins Jonna and Vicky drove from the coast to see mom. They had quite a harrowing trip having decided to leave their homes on Friday night rather than Saturday morning. They got caught for about 45 minutes when Snoqualamie Pass closed, then proceeded to Spokane where they planned to get a hotel room for the night (so as to not awaken mom and me). Oops! Forgot that the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament is in town! They had to drive all the way to Coeur D'Alene to find a room. They both laughed about it knowing they could have found rooms in Moses Lake, Ritzville or Cheney! What a trip! They graciously offered to drive mom back home which saved both Charm and I the drive. Thanks cousins!
We want to thank all of you who have written or called to express support for mom. She does fatigue easily so we ask for your understanding if she doesn't respond to all calls or visits. All in all she has handled this challenge as she has everything else in her life...with humor and strength!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The second chemo infusion event
I'll give you all a brief about Mom's second chemo infusion yesterday, Monday the 24th. Peg has a lot more detailed information, though, so she may want to add or correct some of my comments.
Mom had been told by her oncologist, Dr. Chaundhry, that the results of a MUGA test showed that the "squeeze" power of her heart was less than it should be; it was 40% when it should be 60%. He recommended that she go back to her cardiologist. So yesterday she did, seeing another doctor in the Spokane office of her Lewiston-based cardiology doctor. This doctor ordered a echocardiogram, which is a more modern and more exact test than the MUGA. The results of this test showed that Mom's output is more like 50%, which is more than satisfactory for a woman of her age. With that result, the doctor cut back on the dosage of the medicine meant to help her heart.
So that was good news for Mom, who is looking forward to another Bloomsday in May, the Pacific Northwest's version of the Boston marathon (only shorter).
The intravenous chemo infusion begins with a blood panel, and the results actually showed improvement in red and white blood cell counts over last week's. That's also good news. Finally, as the doctor examined her, he noted that the groin lymph node that was no longer swollen. Generally speaking, he said, she is responding very, very well to the treatment.
Mom so far hasn't experienced the typical side effects of chemo--nausea and hair loss. She is perhaps just beginning to feel a bit hyped up from the Predisone, for she reported that she had a difficult time falling asleep last night. That's not at all like her. She made up for it by sleeping late this morning, though.
Peg and I talked this evening and agreed that this week has been less stressful than last week, when we were all being introduced to new procedures and such. Let's hope that Mom's good health continues as she enjoys a 20-day interval until her next intravenous infusion at the beginning of the next 28 day cycle. She is thinking that she might be able to go back to Asotin and enjoy her own home for a while, but we'll see how the week develops.
Thanks to everyone who is sending emails. I'm passing them on to Peg and she's reading them to Mom.
Love to you all.
Mom had been told by her oncologist, Dr. Chaundhry, that the results of a MUGA test showed that the "squeeze" power of her heart was less than it should be; it was 40% when it should be 60%. He recommended that she go back to her cardiologist. So yesterday she did, seeing another doctor in the Spokane office of her Lewiston-based cardiology doctor. This doctor ordered a echocardiogram, which is a more modern and more exact test than the MUGA. The results of this test showed that Mom's output is more like 50%, which is more than satisfactory for a woman of her age. With that result, the doctor cut back on the dosage of the medicine meant to help her heart.
So that was good news for Mom, who is looking forward to another Bloomsday in May, the Pacific Northwest's version of the Boston marathon (only shorter).
The intravenous chemo infusion begins with a blood panel, and the results actually showed improvement in red and white blood cell counts over last week's. That's also good news. Finally, as the doctor examined her, he noted that the groin lymph node that was no longer swollen. Generally speaking, he said, she is responding very, very well to the treatment.
Mom so far hasn't experienced the typical side effects of chemo--nausea and hair loss. She is perhaps just beginning to feel a bit hyped up from the Predisone, for she reported that she had a difficult time falling asleep last night. That's not at all like her. She made up for it by sleeping late this morning, though.
Peg and I talked this evening and agreed that this week has been less stressful than last week, when we were all being introduced to new procedures and such. Let's hope that Mom's good health continues as she enjoys a 20-day interval until her next intravenous infusion at the beginning of the next 28 day cycle. She is thinking that she might be able to go back to Asotin and enjoy her own home for a while, but we'll see how the week develops.
Thanks to everyone who is sending emails. I'm passing them on to Peg and she's reading them to Mom.
Love to you all.
Busy Easter weekend, wasn't it?
Well, Mom had a great week, it seems, and a great Easter weekend. Peg always likes to do the Easter egg thing with Michelle and Chelsea, so egg decorating was on the schedule for Saturday. I understand that Mom got kind of tired out and crashed when Peg and she got back to Peg's house. But what great-grandmother wouldn't feel that way after being a part of all that hubbub?
Sunday began with Mass with Peg and Chelsea, then the egg hunt in Peg's front yard. By the time I got to Spokane (I had been in the Valley moving Mom's stuff out of Evergreen Estates), all of that was over and everyone was chilling out in anticipation of a great dinner.
Peg served a wonderful ham that she had injected with a honey praline marinade. Yum! We feasted until we were full and then adjourned to easy chairs for conversation. I had to drive back to Pullman that evening to go to work the next morning.
So it was, all in all, a great family time. Happy Easter!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Livin' it up in Kauai in February
Mom, Peg and I joined Uncle Adrian and Auntie Rose in Kauai, Hawaii in mid-Feb for a great 10-day vacation. Mom had just received her diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She had asked her docs whether she should cancel the trip; they said, "you go, girl, and have the time of your life." So she did. Here are some of the pics that prove it.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Day 3--
Just talked with Mom by phone this morning and got a report on her third day. She reported feeling more tired. But that’s to be expected, we think. Even so, she finds it hard not to feel like she’s being lazy.
She is so wise about her health. She has been eating lots of fruits and vegetables, she said. She continues to find ways to get some exercise, even though she’s on chemo meds. She went on a walk yesterday, fooled around with an elastic resistance band, and did some “sit and get fit” exercises.
Mom begins to take two new medications today and will continue them for the next 14 days. One is predisone, some kind of steriod that is supposed to supercharge your energy level but also can make you irritable. The other is the oral chemo drug from the MOPP regimen. She hasn’t had to struggle with nausea yet, and we hope that continues with this additional med. Peg has been really helpful in rounding up all of the prescriptions and in consulting with the pharmacists about drug compatibility.
Peg has also been rounding up lots of nutritious foods so Mom can follow up on the great advice and wonderful support we have been getting from our cousin, her niece Pam in California. Pam, a RN with a long-standing “obsession,” as she calls it, about nutrition and natural healing, has been consulting with Mom about the importance of diet, especially as she confronts this cancer. Pam has given us lots of information about the value of digestive enzymes in fostering health of the digestive tract, blood and internal organs, so both Mom and I are now taking Vitalzyme. If you want to know more about this, I can connect you with Pam; just let me know.
Pam also has been teaching us about a health drink called the “Green Smoothie.” This smoothie is made of green leafy vegetables—lettuce, spinach, kale, whatever appeals to your taste buds—and fruits. By pureeing the raw fruits and raw green leafy veggies into a drink, you are able to get very high levels of vitamins, minerals and fiber into the diet without having to munch down lots and lots of salad--and also without having to cook the veggies, which destroys a lot of the vitamins. The Green Smoothie concept that Pam recommends so highly is explained in Green for Life by Victoria Boutenko. My aunt and uncle have been making them every morning for quite a while now, and Auntie Rose has devised a very tasty recipe.
Pam reminds us that we are what we eat.
Here’s one of Pam’s emails.
GREEN SMOOTHIE
1/2 fresh pineapple ( or more to taste) Directions for cutting a pineapple the easiest way is on a small tag, attached to some of the pineapples.)
2 small yellow papaya
1 banana, or more to taste
1 - 2 cups red grapes
Add any seasonal fruit available. Berries are a great addition.
Blend all the fruit together, first. Add some
water for better blending
if desired, (ie: 1/2 to 3/4 cup water)
Then start adding some green leaves, (and you can add just one type of green (like Romaine lettuce) or you can add 3 or 4 different green varieties in one smoothie - it's up to your taste and availability and time) But remember, it is important to experiment with variety of different greens - so try to change your greens (and fruit each week or so). The amount should be gradual - if you start out too green - your taste buds may not like it right away and reject it, so start adding a little greens at first and adding more - as you start craving them. It really happens that way.
I tell people new to this to start with romaine and spinach leaves - for a few weeks. After that, start experimenting with other lettuces and greens.
You can also add celery stalks and cucumber too for more liquid. They are excellent fiber and contain very important nutrients, too.
If you prefer it thinner - you can just add water or you can add fresh squeezed orange juice or tangerine juice. (I don't recommend commercial orange juice). I have also added extra squeezed oranges to increase sweetness when I have added too much green.
Some GREENS to consider:
Romaine (no iceberg)
Green/Red leaf lettuce
Spinach
Kale (3 types)
Parsley
Watercress
Arugula
Beet greens
Any Chard
Collard Greens
Turnip greens
Carrot tops
Bok choy
broccoli
Celery
Cucumber
Sprouts
Herbs
Parsley(2 types)
Cilantro
Dill
Basil
Fennel
Mint
Peppermint
Spearmint
Some FRUITS to consider: (eating seasonal fruit in season is always best)
Pineapple
Grapes
Figs
Bananas
Oranges
Berries - strawberries, huckleberries, blueberries, raspberries,
blackberries, gooseberries, etc
Melons - watermelon, cantaloupe, galia, honeydew etc
Kiwis
Apples
Figs
Dates
Guavas
Papaya
Mangos
Grapefruit
lemons
pears
nectarines
peaches
If you make a large amount in the morning - you keep half of it in the refrigerator for the next day. But store it in glass container or a stainless steel thermos.
It seems easiest for most people to wash and store all your greens a few times a week, so you don't have to mess with so much each morning. You can purchase a plastic storage container from Longs. I like the brand Sterilite and bought the 15 quart, 14 L size. After spinning the cleaned greens dry in a salad spinner, you can store the greens in this container. It fits perfectly in most refrigerators. And be sure you always have lots of fruit around.
Enjoy experimenting!
Love,
Pam
So don’t forget that you can post comments to these messages. Peg, Bill and I will make sure to get them to Mom. Even better, call (I’d post the phone number if it weren’t a risk to invite unwanted callers as well).
And for those sophisticated users, the RSS feature at the bottom of the screen allows you to subscribe, so any new posts will be sent directly to your blog reader. (If that went over your head, don’t worry. It skims the top of mine, too.)
She is so wise about her health. She has been eating lots of fruits and vegetables, she said. She continues to find ways to get some exercise, even though she’s on chemo meds. She went on a walk yesterday, fooled around with an elastic resistance band, and did some “sit and get fit” exercises.
Mom begins to take two new medications today and will continue them for the next 14 days. One is predisone, some kind of steriod that is supposed to supercharge your energy level but also can make you irritable. The other is the oral chemo drug from the MOPP regimen. She hasn’t had to struggle with nausea yet, and we hope that continues with this additional med. Peg has been really helpful in rounding up all of the prescriptions and in consulting with the pharmacists about drug compatibility.
Peg has also been rounding up lots of nutritious foods so Mom can follow up on the great advice and wonderful support we have been getting from our cousin, her niece Pam in California. Pam, a RN with a long-standing “obsession,” as she calls it, about nutrition and natural healing, has been consulting with Mom about the importance of diet, especially as she confronts this cancer. Pam has given us lots of information about the value of digestive enzymes in fostering health of the digestive tract, blood and internal organs, so both Mom and I are now taking Vitalzyme. If you want to know more about this, I can connect you with Pam; just let me know.
Pam also has been teaching us about a health drink called the “Green Smoothie.” This smoothie is made of green leafy vegetables—lettuce, spinach, kale, whatever appeals to your taste buds—and fruits. By pureeing the raw fruits and raw green leafy veggies into a drink, you are able to get very high levels of vitamins, minerals and fiber into the diet without having to munch down lots and lots of salad--and also without having to cook the veggies, which destroys a lot of the vitamins. The Green Smoothie concept that Pam recommends so highly is explained in Green for Life by Victoria Boutenko. My aunt and uncle have been making them every morning for quite a while now, and Auntie Rose has devised a very tasty recipe.
Pam reminds us that we are what we eat.
Here’s one of Pam’s emails.
GREEN SMOOTHIE
1/2 fresh pineapple ( or more to taste) Directions for cutting a pineapple the easiest way is on a small tag, attached to some of the pineapples.)
2 small yellow papaya
1 banana, or more to taste
1 - 2 cups red grapes
Add any seasonal fruit available. Berries are a great addition.
Blend all the fruit together, first. Add some
water for better blending
if desired, (ie: 1/2 to 3/4 cup water)
Then start adding some green leaves, (and you can add just one type of green (like Romaine lettuce) or you can add 3 or 4 different green varieties in one smoothie - it's up to your taste and availability and time) But remember, it is important to experiment with variety of different greens - so try to change your greens (and fruit each week or so). The amount should be gradual - if you start out too green - your taste buds may not like it right away and reject it, so start adding a little greens at first and adding more - as you start craving them. It really happens that way.
I tell people new to this to start with romaine and spinach leaves - for a few weeks. After that, start experimenting with other lettuces and greens.
You can also add celery stalks and cucumber too for more liquid. They are excellent fiber and contain very important nutrients, too.
If you prefer it thinner - you can just add water or you can add fresh squeezed orange juice or tangerine juice. (I don't recommend commercial orange juice). I have also added extra squeezed oranges to increase sweetness when I have added too much green.
Some GREENS to consider:
Romaine (no iceberg)
Green/Red leaf lettuce
Spinach
Kale (3 types)
Parsley
Watercress
Arugula
Beet greens
Any Chard
Collard Greens
Turnip greens
Carrot tops
Bok choy
broccoli
Celery
Cucumber
Sprouts
Herbs
Parsley(2 types)
Cilantro
Dill
Basil
Fennel
Mint
Peppermint
Spearmint
Some FRUITS to consider: (eating seasonal fruit in season is always best)
Pineapple
Grapes
Figs
Bananas
Oranges
Berries - strawberries, huckleberries, blueberries, raspberries,
blackberries, gooseberries, etc
Melons - watermelon, cantaloupe, galia, honeydew etc
Kiwis
Apples
Figs
Dates
Guavas
Papaya
Mangos
Grapefruit
lemons
pears
nectarines
peaches
If you make a large amount in the morning - you keep half of it in the refrigerator for the next day. But store it in glass container or a stainless steel thermos.
It seems easiest for most people to wash and store all your greens a few times a week, so you don't have to mess with so much each morning. You can purchase a plastic storage container from Longs. I like the brand Sterilite and bought the 15 quart, 14 L size. After spinning the cleaned greens dry in a salad spinner, you can store the greens in this container. It fits perfectly in most refrigerators. And be sure you always have lots of fruit around.
Enjoy experimenting!
Love,
Pam
So don’t forget that you can post comments to these messages. Peg, Bill and I will make sure to get them to Mom. Even better, call (I’d post the phone number if it weren’t a risk to invite unwanted callers as well).
And for those sophisticated users, the RSS feature at the bottom of the screen allows you to subscribe, so any new posts will be sent directly to your blog reader. (If that went over your head, don’t worry. It skims the top of mine, too.)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Day 2- Try again
I don't know if I am doing this correctly but I wanted you all to know that day two went pretty well for our mom. She slept well and woke up feeling pretty perky. She hung out at my house most of the day but joined me for a quick trip to the store and a little walk during my lunch hour. This evening we went to a Cancer support group at Holy Family Hospital. The people were cancer survivors, family members and people currently in treatment. The group was warm and gracious and shared their experiences and ideas. They meet every other Tuesday in the evening and everyone encouraged us to come back!
This evening she enjoyed a phone call from Ingrid Williams who is so dear to us all! Then of course her son calls with his usual light hearted banter. Keep it up folks- she delights in being the center of attention!
This evening she enjoyed a phone call from Ingrid Williams who is so dear to us all! Then of course her son calls with his usual light hearted banter. Keep it up folks- she delights in being the center of attention!
St. Patrick and the beginning of cancer therapy
Here is the latest on Mom’s Quest for Victory over Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
Yesterday, she went to Holy Family Hospital (Spokane) for a MUGA test scheduled for 10:30 and then her first chemo treatment at the oncology center. The MUGA test involves removing some blood, tagging the red cells with a radioactive isotope, reinserting that blood into the system, and then basically taking a video of the blood circulating in the heart. This test told us about how efficiently her heart muscles are squeezing the blood through the chambers. The normal reading in 60%; mom’s was at 40%.
This information that her ticker wasn’t as strong as could be hoped led Dr. Chaudrey to revise his chemo program for her. While he had originally planned a fairly newly-devised chemo program that included the drug andromyacin—I may not have spelled that correctly—he decided against that because that particular drug can do some damage to the heart. He changed the plan to a set of drugs that have been used to treat Hodgkin’s for quite a few years before this new set was devised. The new set has a 99% cure rate; the longer-established set has a 90% cure rate. But everyone agreed that the 9% lower cure rate was worth the risk when the heart is involved. So the chemo series she’ll be doing is called the MOPP program.
She has infusions twice every 28 days for 6 months. Her treatments are on day 1 and day 8 of each 28 day cycle. No one knows for sure how her body will react to these drugs, but my own, non-professional hope is that, while she might feel bad for the first two weeks of each 28 day cycle, maybe the last two weeks of the cycle will be relatively comfortable. I could be wrong, of course, because one of the drugs is taken by mouth and isn’t on that day 1/day 8 schedule.
We had a bit of a scare when Peg went to pick up the prescriptions that Mom has to take by mouth. She was told by the pharmacist at the Rite Aid store that one of them would cost $500. Peg said that she felt the blood drain from her head and felt her knees buckle. She immediately came back to the oncology center, when I had been hanging out with Mom as she lounged in a cushy easy chair while her drugs went into her system. When Peg told us what she had found out, the nurse was perplexed. “That doesn’t sound right,” she said. “I think there’s a generic version.” Sure enough. It all settled into place when Peg started calling around and found out about the generic versions. We haven’t completely dodged the bullet in terms of drug costs, though because one medication had to be ordered, and we still don’t know what that will cost. I think it’s a chemo drug, though, and if it is, her insurance programs will cover it.
I’m not sure how all of the insurance programs work. Thank the goddess I have a sister who is SO professionally knowledgeable about that aspect of this situation, having been a social worker her entire career and, for a period of years, a social worker in a nursing home. She’s just awesome on the phone as she makes calls to get information and get help solving problems.
I’m not sure exactly what I’m good for in this whole situation, but it may be as a researcher. I’ve recently had conversations with cancer survivors who used visualization techniques to promote their cure and minimize the side effects. A friend from Idaho Washington Concert Chorale, Helen, told me that she used her thoughts to ensure that she didn’t lose her hair. She would visualize the chemicals going right to and only to the cancer cells and not the “good” cells.
Since it was St. Patrick’s Day that Mom began this process of poisoning her body, we decided that St. Patrick owed her big-time. We thought Mom could visualize St. Patrick with his staff casting the cancer cells out of her body like he cast the snakes out of Ireland. I hope she does try that.
We’re also taking dear cousin Pam’s counsel by adding green smoothies, lots of nutritious foods, and Vitalzyme (digestive enzymes) to her diet. Peg bought organic versions of all the ingredients for the smoothies, too.
Mom is staying at Peg’s this week and probably part of next week. If you don’t have her phone number there but want to talk with her, let me know. While she is up there, I am moving her out of the retirement village, so that phone number is no longer valid. If she’s not at Peg’s, she will be in Asotin, but what will happen when is up in the air until we see what the drugs do to her. I talked with her this morning to find out that she had a great night, feels good so far, and was planning to look for"Sit and Be Fit" on the TV Fitness Channel. That sounds good, doesn't it?
WARNING: One of her drugs is supposed to make her cranky, though, so if you call only to have her bite your head off (I know that doesn’t sound like our dear, lovely Rita, but it could happen), take it with a grain of salt.
So, in the meantime, please know that she appreciates all of your love and prayers, as do Peg, Bill and I.
Yesterday, she went to Holy Family Hospital (Spokane) for a MUGA test scheduled for 10:30 and then her first chemo treatment at the oncology center. The MUGA test involves removing some blood, tagging the red cells with a radioactive isotope, reinserting that blood into the system, and then basically taking a video of the blood circulating in the heart. This test told us about how efficiently her heart muscles are squeezing the blood through the chambers. The normal reading in 60%; mom’s was at 40%.
This information that her ticker wasn’t as strong as could be hoped led Dr. Chaudrey to revise his chemo program for her. While he had originally planned a fairly newly-devised chemo program that included the drug andromyacin—I may not have spelled that correctly—he decided against that because that particular drug can do some damage to the heart. He changed the plan to a set of drugs that have been used to treat Hodgkin’s for quite a few years before this new set was devised. The new set has a 99% cure rate; the longer-established set has a 90% cure rate. But everyone agreed that the 9% lower cure rate was worth the risk when the heart is involved. So the chemo series she’ll be doing is called the MOPP program.
She has infusions twice every 28 days for 6 months. Her treatments are on day 1 and day 8 of each 28 day cycle. No one knows for sure how her body will react to these drugs, but my own, non-professional hope is that, while she might feel bad for the first two weeks of each 28 day cycle, maybe the last two weeks of the cycle will be relatively comfortable. I could be wrong, of course, because one of the drugs is taken by mouth and isn’t on that day 1/day 8 schedule.
We had a bit of a scare when Peg went to pick up the prescriptions that Mom has to take by mouth. She was told by the pharmacist at the Rite Aid store that one of them would cost $500. Peg said that she felt the blood drain from her head and felt her knees buckle. She immediately came back to the oncology center, when I had been hanging out with Mom as she lounged in a cushy easy chair while her drugs went into her system. When Peg told us what she had found out, the nurse was perplexed. “That doesn’t sound right,” she said. “I think there’s a generic version.” Sure enough. It all settled into place when Peg started calling around and found out about the generic versions. We haven’t completely dodged the bullet in terms of drug costs, though because one medication had to be ordered, and we still don’t know what that will cost. I think it’s a chemo drug, though, and if it is, her insurance programs will cover it.
I’m not sure how all of the insurance programs work. Thank the goddess I have a sister who is SO professionally knowledgeable about that aspect of this situation, having been a social worker her entire career and, for a period of years, a social worker in a nursing home. She’s just awesome on the phone as she makes calls to get information and get help solving problems.
I’m not sure exactly what I’m good for in this whole situation, but it may be as a researcher. I’ve recently had conversations with cancer survivors who used visualization techniques to promote their cure and minimize the side effects. A friend from Idaho Washington Concert Chorale, Helen, told me that she used her thoughts to ensure that she didn’t lose her hair. She would visualize the chemicals going right to and only to the cancer cells and not the “good” cells.
Since it was St. Patrick’s Day that Mom began this process of poisoning her body, we decided that St. Patrick owed her big-time. We thought Mom could visualize St. Patrick with his staff casting the cancer cells out of her body like he cast the snakes out of Ireland. I hope she does try that.
We’re also taking dear cousin Pam’s counsel by adding green smoothies, lots of nutritious foods, and Vitalzyme (digestive enzymes) to her diet. Peg bought organic versions of all the ingredients for the smoothies, too.
Mom is staying at Peg’s this week and probably part of next week. If you don’t have her phone number there but want to talk with her, let me know. While she is up there, I am moving her out of the retirement village, so that phone number is no longer valid. If she’s not at Peg’s, she will be in Asotin, but what will happen when is up in the air until we see what the drugs do to her. I talked with her this morning to find out that she had a great night, feels good so far, and was planning to look for"Sit and Be Fit" on the TV Fitness Channel. That sounds good, doesn't it?
WARNING: One of her drugs is supposed to make her cranky, though, so if you call only to have her bite your head off (I know that doesn’t sound like our dear, lovely Rita, but it could happen), take it with a grain of salt.
So, in the meantime, please know that she appreciates all of your love and prayers, as do Peg, Bill and I.
Rita's great Hawaiian adventure
Mom, Peg and I joined our dear Uncle Adrian and Aunt Rose in Kauai, Hawaii, where we enjoyed an incredible vacation with cousin Bill's wonderful house as home base. THANKS, COUSIN BILL! The trip included whale watching from a catamaran, a really fun luau with great food and lots of dancing, eating brunch at Princeville (pricey and scrumptious), day trips to Waimea canyon, to caves, and to Hilo Hattie's. And that's just skimming the surface of all the fun we had. Hanging out with Aunt Rose and Uncle Adrian was the best part. It's always such a treat for us to see Mom hanging with her bro, especially when things are tough.
Pam asked for some photos. I'll be posting them soon. They're on my computer at home.
Pam asked for some photos. I'll be posting them soon. They're on my computer at home.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
she said she would beat me in Bloomsday but I think it was a tie
I always dread spring, because my mother calls and challenges me to either join her and beat her in bloomsday.
She usually beats me, but she has always been very gracious and diplomatic and calls it a tie
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