Thursday, May 1, 2008

Sometimes when you're sick, life doesn't seem worth living

I've been with Mom in Spokane's Sacred Heart Medical Center since Wednesday morning. 

When I got here Wednesday, she seemed to be getting on top of the infection and even was able to sit up and feed herself.  Then Wednesday night, her fever spiked again, and it was like starting over. She is weak, shaky and somewhat out of it, although that comes and goes depending, Peg thinks, on the fever.

On Wednesday, her brother Adrian and sister-in-law Rose came to Spokane from Lewiston, where they have been visiting for the past week.  Adrian and Rita had intended to have a nice long visit together, but this medical crisis deep-sixed those plans.  They're having to go back to their home in California with the image of Mom at her sickest in their minds.  Distressing for them, I know.

Peg and I have been tag teaming so that Mom has one of us by her most of the time.  The nursing staff and other caregivers have been wonderful, but both Peg and I want to be around to make sure that she gets water or coffee when she wants it, that she eats as much as she is willing to eat, and that she is kept entertained or at least distracted.  

Because she has been out of it as much as she has, they did an MRI yesterday, just to ensure that the CAT scan on Saturday hadn't misled them about the state of her brain. Thankfully, it showed no problems.

Her spirits are low--she has NEVER been this sick physically in her life--and she is saying, "what's the use?" But we know that once her white blood cell count improves, she will feel more positive. We hope so, at least. Poor thing.

White blood cell count was at .1; this morning it is at .3; it needs to get to 1.0.     

At least we're going in the right direction. We who are not sick as dogs, as she is, cling to this hope.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs. William:

Please believe.
I pray that your white blood cell count will improve, and you will get well soon.

Please know that you are my inspiration. I look forward to "walk" with you again. "There are certain things you can do that no one else can. There are things that ONLY YOU can do, and you are alive to do them. In the great orchestra we call life, you have an instrument and a song, and you owe it to God to play them both sublimely.

Please pray with me - "Dear Heavenly Father, you promised that there would be faith and strength and hope to meet life's problems. Please give that strength and hope to Mrs. William, her dedicated children and her brothers/sisters and other relatives; whose anxieties have buried their dreams, whose illnesses have hospitalized their hopes, whose burdens are bigger than their shoulders. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen."

love,
Tammy